My Old Desk is Picturesque
by SortItOut
Summary: House and Cuddy want things to go back to normal between them. Once it looks like it might be happening they aren’t prepared for how it makes them feel. Plus,what is the significance of Cuddy’s desk and why is its presence making them both a little nutty?
1. What's Free is Yours

**My Old Desk is Picturesque**

**A/N: **Okay, so this fic has a pretty specific time line. It follows canon until the almost end of Let Them Eat Cake. For the purposes of this story, everything that happened in LTEC happened except that Cuddy never saw House with the stupid hooker. I prefer conflict to be internal and not in the form of lame plot devices. Therefore, in my world, Cuddy went to go talk to him about the desk but then chickened out for her own neurotic reasons. This starts up a few days later.

**Chapter One: What's Free is Yours**

_I make up promises you never made  
to waste space and time  
and make like I'm doing fine  
make like I'm having a fun time_

Cuddy bursts through her office door in a blind rage. She is frantically trying to fan the water off her shirt that House has just purposely spilled all down her front. Thanks to him, she had just given quite a show to anyone who was fortunate enough to be in the vicinity of the nurses station of the clinic.

The backlash of the door almost hits House in the face as he trails behind her. House is undaunted by the door in his face happily making his way into Cuddy's office. He has a Cheshire grin on his face and a glint in his blue eyes.

"I wish I was more surprised that you deliberately spilled that glass of water on me," Cuddy growls. "Actually, it was more like a bucket. I am soaked."

"Wow. You left that one right open, Cuddy. Too many vagina jokes too little time. Come on, you cannot be mad. You were asking for it. I mean do not wear a thin white shirt to work and expect me not to think wet T-shirt contest. It's really not fair." House shrugs as if his explanation is completely logical.

"I hate you. Damn it, you are seriously twelve years old!" Cuddy grumbles in pure frustration. She takes a few steps towards House giving him a patent glare.

"And you just made my twelve year old day." House responds openly leering down at her wet top. "Now if only I could get Lynda Carter to sex me up. Then all my adolescent dreams would come true! To clarify, I mean her in all her Wonder Woman glory. You know the boots, the cuffs, and the patriotic one piece, not her now all old and wrinkly."

"Well thank God you clarified! I would have been awake all night worrying about what you meant otherwise." Cuddy sarcastically returns. As she speaks, she retreats from House and leans back against the front of her desk.

"So what about you, Cudster? What got your digits twisting back in the day? Was it the Fonze or Chachi?" House returns while making a few steps in her direction.

"Yuck, neither." Cuddy immediately replies.

Cuddy makes a point of sticking out her chest letting the wet material stretch across her breasts, as House inches closer to her. She hears his intake of breath at her display and inwardly gives herself a high five. She is keenly aware of the fact that she has not seen House's eyes once since he followed her into her office. His attention is clearly on the show he has created for himself.

Cuddy thinks that if he wants a show, she is damn well going to give him one. A show of something he will never ever have again. His latest antics make it clear to her that she has made the right decision when deciding not to talk to him about the desk. The very desk she was currently leaning against that he had reacquired for her new office. Sure, she knows that he can be occasionally sweet. However, nine times out of ten he was the man who was currently ogling her. He was an obnoxious ass who grabbed her breasts and poured water down her shirt. She just needed to keep reminding herself of those particular facts.

"But there was someone who's poster a pig tailed Cuddy tongue kissed and pretend pillow humped every night before bed." House continues with his train of thought.

"Yes, House I was a normal adolescent girl. Though I never pillow humped anything, or wore pigtails for that matter."

"I notice you didn't deny the tongue kissing part. So what got a young Cuddy's kitten's flood gates opening?" House asks giddy to be in control of the conversation.

"You are seriously disgusting. I do not intend to tell you anything. In fact, now would be a great time for you to get out of my office," Cuddy orders.

"Really, so the crush was that embarrassing. Now I have to know. Was it Gofer?"

"Who the hell is Gofer?" Cuddy asks. Absently wondering how House always manages to get her to engage in whatever conversation he is intent on having. She laments the fact that she can never seem to do the same with him.

"From the Love Boat," House says with a "duh" tone to his voice.

"You watched the Love Boat!" Cuddy laughs, "Oh, I am so happy I know this. Note to self, tell Wilson about House's man crush on Gofer."

"That is not what I said. You are just trying to get me off track. It is not going to work. Oh, I have it, The Six Million Dollar Man!"

"Never going to tell you," Cuddy replies in a singsong voice but the pause before she speaks gives her away.

"I am pretty sure you just did. Everyone else you just flat out denied. That is not as embarrassing as I thought it would be. Although, it shows you have always had a thing for cripples." House declares with a smirk while pointing a finger in his own direction.

House leans back on her desk as he speaks taking the space next to her, so that their shoulders are almost touching. Being with her on the old pile of wood briefly reminds him of all the trouble he went through to get this particular desk. He is actually surprised that it had been a few days and she had not mentioned it to him. He absently wonders if she is really so absorbed in the hospital (_the only baby she has left_) that she has not noticed his gesture. On the other hand, maybe she did notice and just did not care.

As he sits awaiting Cuddy's response, he is feeling a great sense of relief that she had not mentioned the desk. He only realized (_after there was no going back_) that she would probably want to talk about it. He was no good at talking about things of this nature. Unless his goal was to make everything worse because he knows that he excels at that. House felt that enough assortments of problems had been unleashed between them lately without adding college memories to the mix. In fact, that was why he was here in the first place. He was trying to undo some of the damage their eager mouths had brought them. Bringing up the desk was not the way to get them back to their old selves.

"I don't nor have I ever had a thing for you. Shut up, House." Cuddy's cheeks redden as she speaks. Her agitated voice breaks House from his thoughts.

"That's not the impression I got a few days ago." House turns to look at her as he speaks and immediately notices the look of unabashed fury on Cuddy's face.

He quickly realizes this conversation could go down a dangerous path but being who he is it does not dissuade him from continuing.

"Now I see that it is all part of your sick little fetish. Your mouth may say no, but your wet t-shirt tells no lies."

"You see House, it's times like these where I am faced with a real dilemma. Do I go with option "A" and let whatever horrible demeaning thing you just said go for the sake of my sanity and your life. Or do I go with "B" and get so damn frustrated with you that some of that cartoon steam begins actually exploding out of my ears. Quickly followed by me kicking you repeatedly with my pointy heals alternating between your bad leg and groin."

"Well I think option "A" sounds better for the both of us. Although, I have to say the steam coming out of your ears and the heels does sound rather hot. The leg slash groin kicking not so much." House retorts happy that Cuddy is going with the anger inside of her that he enjoys dealing with. Instead of the hurt, he never knows quite how to handle.

"Option "A" it is. Now get the hell out of my office you stupid immature ass!" Cuddy says her tone rising with each syllable.

"You just want me to leave because if I stick around you won't be able to control your desire to live out your million dollar fantasies with me."

"GET OUT!" Cuddy screams.

"Fine, but don't think I will forget about this."

"Go now, or my next call is to Wilson. Where I am going to tell him you confessed your dreams of your own version of the Love Boat. One that stars you and him as two dreamy eyed naked lovers." Cuddy says twisting her body and grabbing the phone from behind her.

"He will know you are bluffing."

Cuddy starts humming the Love Boat theme as she begins to dial. The action finally gets House to push himself off the desk and make his way out of her office.

After the door firmly shuts behind House, Cuddy hops off her desk and sits down in her office chair. Her thoughts are all about her latest encounter with the man. She notes that the interaction had almost been like the old pre-kiss them. He had been flirty and inappropriate without any of the brooding intensity. It seemed like things might be getting back to normal between them. Which she keeps swearing to herself is what she wants. She refuses to acknowledge the overwhelming feeling of sadness that is settling upon her has anything to do with it actually coming to fruition.

Meanwhile, House makes his way back to his office. He is ruminating over the encounter just as Cuddy was doing. The water incident had been a test on his part. He was tired of tip toeing around her, or declaring full on war with her, or worse her openly confronting him. He missed the old more subtle push and pull they had and that was what he wanted to preserve. This was his way of seeing if they could go back to the rhythm that had sustained them for so long. Cuddy had ended up playing along rather brilliantly.

House was now confident that things did not have to change, which was just the way he liked it. He was trying not to question why this did not leave him with the sense of triumph he thought he would have. He popped a Vicodin hoping it would numb him a little in any sense of the word as he stepped into the awaiting elevator.

* * *

Later that afternoon, House is making his way back to his office from the bathroom. He notices Cuddy is in the hall outside his doors talking to an older balding man. She is giving the man a smile House knows she reserves for those she truly hates but needs to charm. From the grit of her teeth and her submissive stance, House deduces the bald dude must be a big donor and probably a bigger jerk. House approaches Cuddy fully anticipating making a scene just to throw her off and see what the ugly man's deal was. He is a little disappointed that as he approaches she turns around and watches the elderly man walk away from her.

"Asshole," Cuddy grumbles under her breath as soon as the man is out of hearing distance.

"Hey, I just got here and already with the name calling."

"Miraculously this time I actually wasn't talking about you." Cuddy spins around to face the familiar voice.

"What did that guy do to incur all mighty Satan's wrath?" House asks conversationally.

"Mr. Floyd is a big donor and apparently a big anti-Semite. He decided it was appropriate to let me know that my nose was a dead give away for my Jewish heritage. I phrased it nicer than he did of course."

"That's the thing with Jew girls, great bodies, and unfortunate noses." House retorts with a wink.

"See and that's the thing with cripples, great eyes, and unfortunate dick sizes." Cuddy replies without missing a beat.

"Hey, that is just plain mean!"

"As opposed to all the love you have been sending my way."

"It's also a blatant lie. I know it has been along time since you have had the pleasure but don't think I won't whip it out right now and remind you…" House begins to fake go for his belt.

"Go for it. I am sure Kutner and Thirteen would enjoy the pathetic little show." Cuddy says turning to look at the members of his team through the glass walls. One-step away from waving at them to prove her point.

"I don't know why you are pissed at me. I only was commenting on that creepy donors comment to you." House relents releasing his hand from his buckle.

"Well I have to take his shit, you not so much."

"It's pretty clear to me how you get all those donations, anyway." House responds slightly changing the subject.

"Oh this ought to be good." Cuddy sarcastically retorts.

"Blow jobs," House triumphantly and rather loudly announces happily awaiting her reaction.

"I have way more respect for myself than that, just hand jobs," Cuddy deadpans.

"Oh well played." House says almost laughing. He loves the fact that she can still surprise him. He thought for sure she would get angry and not play along.

"As fun as this has been, which actually is absolutely no fun at all, I have work to do. Also, I know you were supposed to be in the Clinic fifteen minutes ago so you better get your ass down there."

"But Mooooooom…." House whines.

"Clinic!" Cuddy turns around and speaks over her shoulder as she heads towards the elevators. She makes sure to add an extra bounce to her step knowing House is checking out her ass as she walks away. Cuddy tries not to question why her new goal is to make damn sure she reminds House of exactly what he is missing any chance she gets.

After Cuddy's gorgeous ass is out of House's line of vision he makes no move to head to the clinic. Instead, House decides to pay Wilson a visit. He is eager to let him in on some of his new insights.

"I think Cuddy and I are finally getting back to normal," House declares as he explodes through Wilson's door.

Wilson looks up from his paper work nonplussed at his friend's rather dramatic entrance.

"Hmm… that is funny. Normal is not a word I would ever use to describe you…. Or Cuddy for that matter….And especially not you and Cuddy together. What are you talking about, House?"

"I have had two encounters with her today and it was all banter and snark and pretty low on the weird tension. I told her she has a big nose. Hell, I even made a blow job joke. Hell, she made a hand job joke. It was classic... Oh and if Cuddy mentions anything about the Love Boat just know that it's not true."

"Wow, the stuff of fairy tales… I give it about a week. And the Love Boat, what the hell are you talking about?" Wilson questions.

"Give what a week?" House replies purposely ignoring the Love Boat part of Wilson's question.

"A week until you're either full on fighting again or making out. I am not sure which…Yet. Actually, it will probably be another round of World War II battling because you both seem too stubborn to go for the actual fun sane option." Wilson reasons aloud.

"I just told you things are back to normal. You know evil administrator and rabble rousing employee." House grumps unhappy that Wilson is refusing to go along with him.

"Yeah, because I am sure before you guys kissed you would have totally gotten her old med school desk for her new office." Wilson has been patiently waiting for the perfect moment to bring up what he had witnessed the other day in Cuddy's office. He is happy that House has just created it.

"She told you about that?" House asks cryptically.

House stores away the information that she had noticed the desk, and she did know it was him. He shortly wonders if her memories of what happened on that very desk were as vivid as his were.

"I was there when she discovered it." Wilson confirms. "She looked happy, really happy."

"What exactly did she say?" House tries to get more information out of his best friend.

"You two haven't talked about it?" Wilson questions noticing House's far off look. "Typical. I thought for sure, when she left her office she was going to see you. Why did you do that by the way? It does not really go along with well anything I know about you. It was actually sweet. One might even say it was romantic. It does not really compute with your whole, I do not want a relationship _mishegas_. "

"I am not sweet. There is no romantic anything between Cuddy and I. I was just making up for some semi inappropriate touching. I didn't want the she beast to fire me." House reveals.

"Right, cause you are so big on righting your wrongs. I hate to break it to you, but you two are not back to normal. You like her and you have always liked her. It is in the air now, kissing her released it. You _really_ like her. Maybe you think you can go back but you can't. You can't unring a bell." Wilson sagely notes.

"I don't even know why I bother talking to you. You are an overly sentimental, cliché spouting, giant sausage wallet." House grouches dramatically walking out of Wilson's office slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Song Credit: _What's Free is Yours, Pony Up!_

_Next up: _Cuddy remembers exactly what happened on the desk truly earning this fic its M rating. I have the chapter all ready to go, and reviews are a great motivation for me to post. In case that was not subtle enough for you, review please. I am shameless.


	2. Another Lonely Day

**A/N: **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate every one of them and it totally motivated me to post this, definitely smiles times. Keep it up.

**Chapter 2: Another Lonely Day**

_It wouldn't have worked out any way  
so now its just another lonely day  
further along we just may  
but for now its just another lonely day_

**The next day:**

"Hey Cuddy, are you up for some lunch?" Wilson asks as he knocks on her door while simultaneously opening it.

Cuddy looks up from her computer at the smiling oncologist who is making his way to the front of her desk.

"We never have lunch. You usually spend that time being forced to buy lunch for your cane holding bestie." Cuddy notes suspiciously. "Since your mind seems to be pretty one tracked lately, I am guessing this lunch offer means you have some other annoying observation you would like to share about me and House."

"You are certainly cheery this afternoon." Wilson retorts. "Fine, I will cut the pretense. I thought the other night you were going to talk to House about his gift. I was curious as to what changed your mind."

Wilson points down at her desk just to make it clear what he is discussing.

"You really have no sense of what is and is not your business, do you?" Cuddy wonders aloud while briefly placing her head in her hands.

"Oh come on. You know you want to talk about it. If it is not with me then really, who are your other options? House does seem to think the weird night janitor who wears his pants backwards is a pretty good listener."

"Trying to woo me by pointing out the lack of people I can confide in. Wilson you are really batting a thousand today." Cuddy sarcastically laughs.

"Cuddy…" Wilson says in that uniquely _Wilson_ tone. One that means come on I only have your best interests at heart.

"Fine, if you must know. I was going to talk to him about it but about half way there I … I just changed my mind." Cuddy lamely explains.

"Why?" Wilson prods.

"I started thinking about how one nice thing doesn't really change much. Then, about how he probably wouldn't react that well to me noting that he did something nice. Especially considering the last time I tried to confront the stupid jackass about something that actually matters he behaved in his usual jerky manner. Which lead to me trying to decide what I really expected to come from all of this…"

Wilson interrupts Cuddy's rant with a dose of the truth, "You got scared."

"Possibly," Cuddy reluctantly admits before quickly moving on to her more burning questions. "How did you even know that I never talked to him about it, anyway? Did you two talk about it?"

"To be honest I sort of brought it up with him." Wilson admits.

"And what did he say?" Cuddy asks immediately hating the eager tone of her voice.

"Well…" Wilson starts.

"Wait, never mind. I don't want to know. I have had a few run-ins with him since and it seems like things are getting back to normal, well as normal as things can be with that man. No reason to open a can of worms." Cuddy backtracks knowing that this cannot lead her anywhere she wants to go.

"Wow, you two really are perfect for each other," Wilson exclaims with a hint of sarcasm.

"Excuse me?" Cuddy asks with wide eyes.

"He too was throwing around all this back to normal nonsense."

"Well good. That is good. That is what I want." Cuddy cannot hide the tinge of disappointment in her voice even though she is actively trying to cover it up.

"Okay, I get it. You still want to grab lunch?" Wilson senses that Cuddy has had enough of his nudging for one day and decides to back off.

"No, I am good." Cuddy rather sadly responds.

"You sure, I promise no House talk?" Wilson tries.

"Yeah, I am sure." Cuddy sounds a million miles away as she tries to reassure him.

"Okay, I'll see you around." Wilson reluctantly accepts her answer. Right as Wilson has his hand on the door to leave the sound of Cuddy's voice stops him.

"Did he tell you why he got it for me in the first place?" Cuddy inquires quietly before she can help herself.

"Well he…" Wilson starts again as he turns to face her.

"Never mind, it was a stupid question." Cuddy immediately chastises herself before dismissing him. "See you around, Wilson."

"Oy vey, what am I going to do with the two of you." Wilson mumbles shaking his head as he walks out of Cuddy's office.

* * *

Alone once again, Cuddy tries to get back to work. However, thanks to Wilson she can focus on nothing but the desk in front of her. She begins absently rubbing the well-worn groves of the wood. Slowly tiny flashes from college vividly begin running through her mind. At first, the image is rather innocent. It is just a college aged Cuddy sporting a high ponytail, wearing neon pink and green pajamas, and sitting at her desk. She is wide-awake and it is three in the morning. She is drinking crappy coffee. The dull tones of Morrissey's haunting voice are coming from her stereo. There are notes strewn all across her brand new desk. She is intently studying her _Human Anatomy_ book.

The image disappears quickly and another far less innocent memory springs to the forefront of her mind. This one is months after her previous recollection. It is the night following her last day of school before summer vacation. The same day happens to be his last day of school ever.

Cuddy's stomach is pushing flat against the edge of her desk. The wood is slightly digging into her flesh but the minor pain is only adding to her experience. House's hands are firmly gripping her hips. She can feel her skirt push farther up her waist with every thrust House makes inside her willing body. With each glide of the fabric against her skin, the small piece of material reminds her that it is the only bit of clothing left on her body.

She has never been this excited. The room is icy cold and the air is causing a light tingling against bare ass. The sensation is contrasting so nicely with the intense heat a young Greg House is radiating within her. House is intimately studying her own anatomy with every twist and push he makes. She is thanking God for her desk because she knows that it is the only thing keeping her from buckling at the knees.

He is playing her body as she always thought he would skilled and methodically. He is reaching places within her that until that moment she had only read about in Cosmo. After a few encounters with less skilled boys Cuddy had begun to believe, the whole g-spot thing was an urban myth. However, now she has first hand proof of its existence. She is relishing in every second of unprecedented pleasure as House relentlessly pounds into her. She wants so badly to tell him how amazing it is.

"This is… You are… Holy shit…." is all she can get out as House reaches one of his hands forward and plays with her breast. She tries again to speak but all that comes out of her mouth are unintelligible moans of ecstasy.

"I know. You feel incredible. You are incredible." House bends over her further to whisper in her ear, lightly licking the lobe as he speaks. "I have wanted this since the first time I saw your sexy ass on campus."

She remembers the first time she had seen him play piano. House had let her sit next to him. While watching his hands dance across the ivory, all she could think was that if she could some how get half of the intensity he had for music directed towards her she would be in for the time of her life. She was right.

The pressure begins to build more intensely inside of her as House snakes the hand that had been occupying her breast slowly down her stomach until he reaches her center. He expertly applies gentle pressure with his fingers over her sensitive clit. She is amazed at his stamina. His pace has been relentless since he first slowly entered her and she has never enjoyed trying to keep up with someone more.

She is overjoyed that she finally knows that the reality of this man is so much better than any of her previous fantasies had been. A deep sense of triumph from getting what she wants from this complicated guy surges throughout her. It is the last coherent thought in Cuddy's mind before everything he is doing is just too good, and too much. Her second orgasm of the night completely takes over her mind and body.

Suddenly, all she can see are bursts of stars before she literally blacks out for a moment. When she comes to, she can hear his name screaming from her lips (_which she knows is coming from her even though she feels entirely disconnected from her body_). Her high-pitched sound is mixing with the lower grunt of her rarely used first name spouting from House's lips. The mix of the two tones just seem like they belong together. The sounds are almost musical to her.

Cuddy slowly drifts back to the present. She immediately tries to shake the image of the young satiated lovers from her head as if her mind is an etch-a-sketch. Rather violently, she pushes her chair out from her desk and stands up as far away as she can possibly get with one glide of her chair. She knows only one thing and that is she needs to get out of her office immediately.

Cuddy walks to her coat rack and swiftly grabs her lab coat shrugging it on with more intensity than necessary. She decides to go to the Clinic despite the fact that she does not have hours today. She just knows that she needs to get as far away from that memory-inducing thing as possible, paperwork be damned.

She notes how unfair it is that twenty years later her memories of their one night together are as vivid as if they had happened yesterday. It occurs to her that maybe that is why House had gotten the desk out of storage. The location of their one night together being close to her is just one more way for him to skillfully and methodically torture her.

Cuddy walks out of her office with a fierce determination to lose herself in as many runny noses and sprained ankles as possible. Her focus is completely on getting to the nurses station to grab the first file she can find. Her only goal is to think about anything else besides House. She only realizes there is a person in between her and the nurse's station in front of her when she collides head on with House's chest.

House sees Cuddy coming towards him and honestly thinks she will stop before she plows into him. He is wrong. As she collides with his chest, his first instinct is to use his free hand to wrap around Cuddy's waist to prevent her from falling.

Cuddy is stunned by the impact of running into him with such force. She is so disoriented that she does not immediately attempt to move from his firm grasp. The only reaction she has is to look up at House's face with wide eyes.

Later on, she admits that is her first mistake because his piercing blue eyes coupled with her previous naughty thoughts set off a chain reaction in her body. She is painfully aware of every inch of him that is covering every inch of her. Her skin is burning from where his hand is splaying across her lower back. She can feel that his pinky is almost grazing the top of her ass. Her breasts are tingling from the way they are smashed against his muscular chest. He feels so warm, so good, and she feels so right in his arms. It takes her a second before the rational part of her brain starts screaming, _**"DANGER WILL ROBINSON!"**_

Meanwhile, House is slightly more in control of his facilities. He knows somewhere in the back of his head that now is the time for him to make a sarcastic retort and push her off him. He does not do that. The feel of her tiny well-toned body against his is just too nice not to take advantage. He continues to hold her against him long after she has righted herself. House idly wonders how long she will let this go on.

His hand of its own volition begins lightly caressing her back. The way her firm breasts are pushing into his chest involuntarily makes other parts of him start to stir. He knows then he has let feeling her up go on for too long. He needs to literally and figuratively back away.

"Whoa, Turbo! Watch where you are going! What has got you so distracted? Lose your broomstick?" House finally speaks while removing his hand from her back and taking a large step away from her.

"Well, this is just great! What the hell do you think you are doing, House!" Cuddy yells finally back to her senses.

Cuddy hates that she can feel the blush on her cheeks and cannot do anything about it. She was actively trying to avoid thoughts of him and the first thing she does is literally run smack into him. Cuddy is convinced at this point that if there is a God he or she does not like her very much.

"Why in the hell are you yelling at me? Your giant ass is the one who just barreled right into me. I saved you from falling on that plump derrière. Only to get you shrieking at me like a hell banshee. "

"Well if you weren't always so damn selfish constantly lounging around doing nothing…" Cuddy seethes knowing her anger has no basis and not caring. She would much rather be angry with him than want to jump his bones.

"I was actually doing my job. Ask nurse what's-her-name. She just sent me to look at some crotch rot in exam room one. What is your deal? Let me guess, you finally dried all the way up. Hot flashes and mood swings courtesy of the onset of Menopause?" House retorts.

He is happy to be fighting with her. The feeling is much safer than the actual emotions that were beginning to sneak up on him without his consent. All because she was momentarily nestled in his arms.

"Go to hell, you pathetic flaccid bastard!" Cuddy roars. She quickly moves around him grabbing a case file and storming into exam room two.

"Next time I am letting you eat shit!" House yells out to her as she slams the exam room door.

As she leaves his view, House's first thought is about how unbelievably hot she is when she yells at him. He wishes they could find themselves in the same situation they were just in, pressed all against each other only with a lot less clothes. He tells himself that overwhelming need he has to have sex with Cuddy (_and not just someone but her specifically_) does not mean anything. It especially does not mean that Wilson is right and it's _"in the air"_ and there is no going back. It sounds lame to him in his own mind and he mentally curses Cuddy for having to go and rub all against him, the she-devil.

Just as he is about to go see his patient a thought occurs to him. Cuddy cheeks were red and flushed before she even started yelling at him. In addition, she had not immediately pushed off him even after she had regained her balance. She had to have been hot and bothered by their collision. She probably got so angry because she felt something too. This would explain her out of nowhere anger, which House knows is a classic Cuddy redirect. With this knowledge, House is certain she is going to avoid him as best as possible for at least the rest of the day. Reassured she will not be around to bug him about his Clinic duty he makes a quick change of plans.

"Dr. House signs out at one pm." House says as he turns to the nurse in charge, "Or you could be cool for once and say I left at four."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Cuddy exits the elevator with a file in hand dreading her destination. She really was planning to ignore House for the rest of the day. She had not even gone up berate him when Nurse Green told her he had skipped out on three hours of clinic duty. However, now she had a case that actually needed his attention forcing her to see the man.

As Cuddy enters his office, she finds House happily listening to _"Jungle Love"_ By the _Steve Miller Band_ using his cane as a makeshift guitar.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cuddy asks over the rumble of the music.

"Isn't it obvious? I am wishing for some jungle love in the surf and the pouring rain. Oh and waiting for the clock to turn five so I can get the hell out of this place." House yells back not attempting to turn off the music.

Cuddy goes around him and his desk and turns off the music knowing House will never do it himself.

"So sorry to break up your jungle loving, but you aren't going anywhere. I have a new case for you!" Cuddy says with a smile moving to stand in front of House and shoving a file at his chest.

"You are such a dream squasher," House growls while taking the file from her.

"It is a five year old girl. She has been vomiting in the middle of the night for the last two months. The father reports absent seizure symptoms after the events but the kid is mostly fine during the day. Every test she has been given has been negative. Yesterday, she developed a rash that is covering her lower abdomen…." Cuddy reports since House has so far not attempted to look at the file.

"No thanks. Sounds like a case for pediatrics to me." House responds throwing the file at her and then reaching over to turn his music back on.

Cuddy grabs his wrist mid stride to stop him grasping it tightly as she speaks.

"You are taking the case. You have not had a case in two days. I am also sure the jam session I walked in on has probably been going on for hours. You have two choices. Take the case, or spend the next two days in the clinic making up for the hours you skipped out on today plus thirteen more." Cuddy sternly replies. She only releases his hand after she finishes her threat.

"Or secret option C. I do not take the case. I do not do clinic hours. Instead, I wait for something to come in that is actually worth my time." House responds while plopping down in his office chair.

"This is worth your time!" Cuddy insists. She leans over his chair putting her arms on either side of the armrests leaning over House to get in his face. "No one can figure out what is going on with this girl. It is right up your alley."

"Speaking of alleys, I can see right up yours!" House retorts openly staring at her cleavage popping out of her black V-neck top. Cuddy makes no move to change her position. She has never been above using any asset she can to get him to agree.

"This kid's life doesn't even seem to be in any kind of immediate danger. That schmuck Dr. Ashton or any of the other snot wipers in peds can take the case." House continues.

"The kid has been to pediatrics already, House. She's been everywhere. It has been two months! You are taking the case or you are getting your ass down to the clinic." Cuddy says more breathy than necessary. Knowing House is still focusing all his attention on her breasts.

"Fine!" House grouches.

House had pretty much planned to take the case from the beginning. Already having a few thoughts on what might be going on. However, just saying yes to Cuddy was no fun.

"Good," Cuddy smiles triumphantly. She moves away from House's face and stands back up straight.

"Just so you know using Kermit and Miss Piggy like that is pretty unethical." House says randomly.

"Kermit and Miss Piggy what are you even saying?" Cuddy asks bewildered.

"Kermit and Miss Piggy are what I named your fun bags!" House returns.

Cuddy completely ignores his comment. "The little girl Ally is in Room 661. I expect you personally to be in her room within the hour to check her out. No sending one of the numbers that is your punishment for skipping out on clinic this afternoon."

"Don't you want to know why I named them that?" House asks ignoring her command.

"Not even a little bit. You better go see her House." Cuddy says in her most serious tone. while she makes her way towards his office door.

"It is because just like Kermit and Miss Piggy one of your tits is substantially larger than the other." House yells waiting until she opens the office door so that every person in the hallway can hear him.

Cuddy turns around to give him an _I am going to murder you_ look before leaving his office completely. House smiles as the door closes behind her.

* * *

Song Credit: _Another Lonely Day, Ben Harper_

_Next Up_: House gets his turn to relive old memories and oh so much more. Want to read it faster? Then drop me a review please and thank you.


	3. Path of Thorns

**A/N: **Like Lisa Edelstein and chocolate, I am a Huddy purist. Therefore, rest assured that this fic has little to nothing to do with the little patient/medical mystery that makes a cameo in this chapter. Also to those who reviewed, you are seriously awesome! To those who did not, sorry not as awesome. Yeah, I said it. =)

**Chapter 3: Path of Thorns**

_Through the years, I have grown to love you_

_though your commitment to most would offend_

_but I stuck by you holding on with my foolish pride_

_waiting for you to give in..._

Cuddy is more than a little surprised when her pager goes off only thirty minutes after leaving House's Office. She asked an orderly to page her if House showed up in the patient's room. Cuddy was sure she was going to have to hassle him again before House did what she ordered him to do.

In fact, the whole thing is so easy that Cuddy feels like it might be some kind of conspiracy on House's part. Not trusting him at all, she thinks the only way to know for sure is to go see him in the room with her own eyes. She has some free time before a board meeting so Cuddy makes quick work of heading over to the pediatric ward. She reaches the little girl's room in record time, and is more than a little shocked to see that for once House is where she told him to be.

House and his little patient are the only two inside the room. The sight alone should be enough for Cuddy but something makes her hang back and observe the pair. She admits she is more than a little curious to see how House acts with a kid. More importantly, how he acts when he thinks no one else is watching.

"Listen kid, I am sure you are anxious to get back to your Barbie dream house or whatever the hell it is you like. This will go a lot faster if you take this." House grumps from inside the room. He hands a pink liquid to the little girl.

The kid shakes her head no and pushes her lips together tightly. She vigorously moves her arms back and forth forcing House to put the cup down on the table next to her so it does not spill everywhere.

"Barbies are lame, and I am not taking that." Ally adamantly replies.

"Fine, then whatever it is you like. I cannot say that I care even a little bit. If you do not take this on your own, we have other ways of making you. Believe me when I say you are going to like those a lot less. I am also going to like it less because I hate nurses and I will need to bring one in here to hold you down. Shouldn't you have a parent in here with you or something to make this crap easier on me?"

"Daddy went to get something to eat, and for your information mister I like monster trucks not dumb Barbies." She answers with conviction ignoring his threats.

"You like monster trucks?" House asks for the first time remotely interested in the child in front of him. "Did someone tell you to say that to me?"

"Who would tell me that? I totally like monster trucks. For my birthday my dad got me to sit in one after the show." She proudly reports.

House is still skeptical that he could have a common interest with a five-year-old girl.

"Which one did you sit in?" House quizzes as if she might be lying about the whole thing.

"I got to sit in Shattered. Why do you like monster trucks?" Ally asks all of a sudden much more interested in the cranky old man before her.

"Yeah, I actually do."

"Which one is your favorite? I was happy to sit in one, but Shattered isn't my favorite. I wanted to sit in Grave Digger now that one is my favorite favorite!"

"You have good taste, midget. The Grave Digger always lives up to its name." House says now believing her claims and slightly impressed by her taste.

"Don't call me midget, old man." Ally sasses.

House laughs at her spunk. From the hallway, Cuddy tries to hold back her giggle.

"Noted…"

"You ever been to see them?" Ally questions.

"Yeah, took a girl from here with me once but she was more interested in the cotton candy than the cars." House answers.

From her eavesdropping spot, Cuddy notes the girl must have been Cameron and feels an inexplicable surge of jealousy run through her.

"Dennis in my class says I am not supposed to like monster trucks cause I'm a girl and liking them makes me dirty and gross."

"Dennis sounds like an idiot."

Ally chuckles, "That is what my daddy said too. So, I told Dennis he was a stupid face and girls can like anything they want and kicked him in the shins. He hasn't bothered me since!"

House genuinely laughs at the kid who is seems so unlike most girls her age. Not that he hangs around many five-year-old girls.

"So the girl you went with liked the cotton candy better than the cars? That is just silly. I love cotton candy too, but I love the smashing more! It's so cool. I wish I could do that. Sometimes daddy lets me take my RC truck and run over my hot wheels but they do not smash like the real cars do. It is not as fun. Is that girl your girlfriend? Cause you should tell her to pay 'tension to the smashing next time." Ally animatedly asks jumping from subject to subject.

"No she isn't my type. She is as fluffy as the cotton candy she likes. I am with you I prefer a girl who enjoys the action a little more. Oh and next time with your RC try soda cans much more satisfying smash."

Perched in her spot by the door Cuddy watches the scene in front of her with a giant smile on her face.

Quickly before Cuddy can stop herself, an image of a little girl with dark curly hair, pale skin, and big bright blue eyes enters her mind. The little girl is tightly grasping one of Cuddy's hands in hers as they walk together. In her minds eye, she looks over and sees the girls other tiny palm holding on to a tall man with a cane in his alternate hand and a noticeable limp in his step.

"You are pretty smart." Ally notes from back in the room. "Soda cans, I will tell daddy."

"Yeah, I am. Which is why when I tell you to swallow this stuff you should do it. It will stop the itching on your stomach." House says once again holding the medicine out to her.

Ally grabs it from his hands. "Okay fine I will do it, but only because we both like the Grave Digger."

Ally swallows the medicine in the cup with only a small grimace on her face.

"Okay, now I am going to leave. If a girl doctor comes in here with big eyes and an even bigger butt make sure you tell her I came to see you. Oh and just know that from now on any doctor who wants to check you out the order came from me. I am the boss around here. So you can trust them."

"Okay." Ally nods taking in every word.

As House turns around to leave, he is surprised to see Cuddy just outside the door. She is leaning against it staring into the room with a distant look on her face.

"Dr Cuddy, you going to stand outside the door like a creeper or do you have a legitimate reason for being here?" House asks. For some reason he automatically knows she must have been there for some time.

The sound of House's voice brings Cuddy abruptly out of her daydream.

"Just making sure you are where you are supposed to be." Cuddy hurriedly explains.

Before House can say anything else, she quickly begins walking towards the elevators. She worries if she sticks around for even a second longer House will some how read her extremely delusional thoughts.

As she briskly walks past the room leaving a slightly confused House in her wake, she faintly hears Ally ask, "Was that Dr. Big Butt?"

Once Cuddy is safely alone in the elevator, she bangs her head against its carpeted wall with a loud thump. She is pissed off at herself for her own foolish dreams. She is mentally berating herself for being one-step away from daydreaming of poisoned apples, white horses, and House in tights. She might as well have because she knew the likelihood of either scenario is a big fat zero.

Cuddy despises the fact that while it seems House has no trouble moving on from recent events she can't seem to follow his lead. All the thoughts she used to be able to hold at bay are now the only thing rattling through her brain. She wants House. She cannot stand him. She really likes House. She hates him. It is slowly beginning to drive her nuts. She even stupidly allowed herself to dream of what their kid would look like. Cuddy chastises herself for being such an idiot vowing to find some way to get over it.

As the elevator doors open, she knows she only has a few minutes to make it to her meeting. Cuddy shoves all her House related thoughts to the back of her mind. She puts on her best dean of medicine face and walking with confidence towards the conference room.

* * *

After leaving his patient and running a short ddx with his team, House is satisfied that he has figured out the little girl's problem. With his team running tests, House has some time on his hands and knows exactly how he is going to spend it.

House stealthily makes his way into Cuddy's office. He has the key he has bribed the night janitor into making for him ready to go. Cuddy is currently in between assistants or maybe has given up on them completely. House really is not sure which and does not really care because either way it makes sneaking into her office rather easy. Thanks to Wilson, House knows that Cuddy is going to be busy with a board meeting for at least the next hour. He sees it as the perfect opportunity to go snooping though her office.

Once inside, House goes through his normal stalking Cuddy routine. First, he looks in her wastebasket making sure there are no suspicious items. Then he sits at her desk and goes through her computer looking for any juicy office gossip in the hospital mainframe. Followed by searching her internet history and old Google searches looking for anything embarrassing or blackmail worthy. Lastly, he peruses her appointment book to see if anything sparks his interest. He happily notes that the planner seems to be clear of any personal appointments, just the way he likes it.

Satisfied with his findings, House leans back in her chair with his hands clasped behind his head. He makes one last sweep with his eyes over her desk to see if he missed anything. As his eyes rake over the desk a memory from long ago begins to tug at his mind. House lets his brain wander off…

House has a young eager Lisa Cuddy completely wrapped around him. They are both naked from the waist up and her hands are clasping behind his neck. Her legs are tightly around his waist. She is kissing him fervently as he uses his strength to move them both towards the first flat surface he can find. The surface happens to be her desk. He gently takes his hands to her sides lifting her off him and placing her bottom down on the edge of the desk. He groans in appreciation as her breasts bounce up and down from the movement. Cuddy makes a moan of protest at the loss of contact with his mouth. She is adorably kicking her legs back and forth showing him a bit of nervousness.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy breathes.

House pays no attention to her questions. Thinking that in this case showing her is so much better than telling her. He drops down to kneel in front of her. He places both hands on her thighs just above her knees gently spreading her legs apart.

"Oh." Cuddy happily groans instantly knowing where this is going. Her eyes light up with anticipation.

Slowly he slithers his hands up her bare thighs until he reaches her skirt flipping the material further up her stomach to get it out of his way. House bends his head down and begins placing light wet kisses on the exposed skin of her thighs. She is making tiny whimpering noises as he teases her with his tongue and lips. He makes his way up her thigh always stopping when he reaches the edge of her panties. He moves past her center and starts the ministrations on the alternate leg.

Finally, Cuddy cannot take it anymore. She places her hands on either side of her planning her strategy to get him where she wants him to go. She pushes her weight up with her hands so that her pelvis thrusts closer to his face. The maneuver makes it so her bottom is no longer touching the desk. He takes the less than subtle hint. His hands quickly remove her tiny polka dotted panties dragging it along her thighs before carelessly throwing them aside. Unable to hold herself up any longer she plops back on to the desk with a bit of a thud.

House laughs looking up at her from his place on the floor, "That is what happens when you are impatient."

"Shut up. Your mouth has more important things to do." Cuddy breathes grabbing him by his hair and placing his face back between her thighs.

House loves how forceful she is being. Most girls he's been with were so submissive to him. He could tell most of them hero-worshiped the great and mysterious Greg House. They always made it excessively easy to get in their pants. They always let him run the show. Cuddy had never been like that. Which is why he never thought any of this would happen between them.

He likes that Cuddy gives as good as she gets. She knows what she wants and goes for it. He has liked that about her since the day he met her. Ambition like hers is a rare thing to find in a woman. This is the first time in a long time that he has felt more than mild amusement and primal needs at bedding a chick. With Cuddy, it is more than just a simple lay and he does not know if it excites him or scares him. The fact that he is leaving town tomorrow quells his nerves and gets him back to the matter at hand.

The sight of her so openly exposed to him makes House wants nothing more than to dive right in to what she is offering. He does not do that though. He likes her forcefulness but he also loves being in control. He takes his tongue and licks up her left thigh teasing her once again. Then he shifts slightly and does the same to her right thigh. As she shudders, he feels like he has sufficiently made his point. He takes his tongue and lightly licks in between her folds for the first time. This earns him another appreciative moan from Cuddy's soft lips.

Cuddy finally has him exactly where she wants him. She makes a quick move to make sure he stays there. She hooks her legs around his shoulders and lightly clasps her ankles around his neck.

"God, you are beautiful." House moans into her center. His breath on her coupled with his words causes a wonderful sensation that shoots straight up Cuddy.

"You are not so bad yourse…Oh my God."

House's tongue dives vigorously into Cuddy making her lose her train of thought. He tastes and teases her with his mouth. He makes sure to use varying degrees of pressure and depth as he explores her inner walls. His nose is lightly rubbing against her clit as he goes at her with full attentiveness. He loves how vocal she is. She is making it so easy to know exactly what she likes. He is quickly learning her body by her soft sighs and her _yes's _and_ right there's. _

"Oh God," Cuddy moans throwing her head back. "You are really fucking good at this."

The way her legs tightly wrap around his head and how every breathe she takes seems to be a struggle signals to him that she is very close. He moves his mouth up to her clit. He sucks on the nub while dexterously entering two fingers into her wet folds. The action does exactly what he thought it would as Cuddy clenches tightly around his fingers as her orgasm overtakes her.

He is sure that if any of Cuddy's neighbors are around they have heard her primordial screaming of his name. He is nothing but proud at the thought. Her legs quickly turn to jelly as they now hang limply at his shoulders.

He takes a moment and looks up into her satiated face. Her eyes are a color he cannot quite describe blue, green, and grey all at once. Her lips are plump and bright pink wonderfully swollen from their kisses. Her smile illuminates every inch of her face. He was right when he said she was beautiful. He thinks that it might be the first time he has ever said that to a girl not cute, or hot, or sexy, but absolutely beautiful. It was for sure the first time he actually meant it.

The throbbing in his pants does not allow him to ponder her further. His lower half is screaming that he needs to do something. While Cuddy is still collecting herself, he stands up quickly unbuckling his belt. He takes both his pants and his boxers off in one fell swoop. His excruciatingly erect member immediately springs up to attention.

Cuddy finally seems to be back in the land of the living as she slides off the desk and looks down at his length with a sharp intake of breath. House feels a surge of pleasure knowing by the look on her face that she is impressed.

Cuddy reaches up to kiss him once more. House has other ideas taking her body and turning her around after their lips barely connect. In this new position, his erection is lightly pressing against her ass.

"God, you are so smart." Cuddy sighs needing no further instruction.

She splays her hands on her desk bending over the wood. She is now purposefully moving her ass lightly back and forth rubbing it against House's length. House takes a second and marvels at the girl in front of him. This is quickly shaping up to be the best lay of his life and he has not even entered her yet. Wanting to rectify that immediately and knowing she is fully ready for him, he slowly enters her from behind. She is so tight when he slides into her that it takes every bit of concentration he has not to let go right then and there…

House is rudely interrupted from his glorious memory when he hears the jingle of keys in the door. Looking down at the tent in his pants he quickly pushes the chair in so that he is covering himself completely with the desk. It is all he has time to do before old Nurse Billingham walks into Cuddy's office with keys in one hand and a load of files in the other.

"Dr. House I doubt you are supposed to be in here." The nurse immediately berates. "Dr. Cuddy wanted me to get these to her before she returned from the board meeting. I assumed she gave me the keys to her locked office because she didn't want anyone else in here."

Staring at the old crusty woman in front of him immediately gets rid of one of House's problems. Seeing her scowling wrinkly face makes him as limp as a spaghetti noodle.

"Thank you so much for opening the door. I thought Dr. Cuddy was going to keep me in here forever, that cunning dominatrix. You saved my life. I am forever grateful! After awhile those whips and chains lose their appeal, and don't get me started on the nipple clamps and strap-on's …."

"I will be telling Dr. Cuddy about this." The nurse interrupts having had more than enough of House's antics.

"I can only imagine how furious she will be when she finds out you let me out. You are a brave soul, old nurse whose name I do not know. Word of advice, if she brings out the furry hand cuffs run and don't look back." House says as he makes his way past the nurse and out of Cuddy's office.

"You are a twisted man and should seek counseling." Nurse Billingham says as House walks out of the door.

House is actually happy it had been a nurse and not Cuddy catching him in her office. Usually, he enjoys seeing Cuddy get angry at the space violation of him in her locked office. However, with the state of mind he is currently in he knows seeing Cuddy would be all kinds of dangerous for the both of them. Like take her up against the nearest wall and screw her senseless kind of dangerous.

* * *

It is a little after traditional dinnertime as Cuddy sits alone at a table in the nearly empty cafeteria. She has a tofu salad in front of her that looks like it has not been touched. She is completely lost in her own thoughts.

Wilson sees her and slides into the unoccupied chair across from her.

"Hey."

"Hey," Cuddy says distractedly looking up at him only briefly.

"The board meeting went pretty well." Wilson begins conversationally.

"Yeah, sure," Cuddy agrees monotone.

"You okay?" Wilson questions.

"I am fine, Wilson." Cuddy answers while violently stabbing into her salad.

Wilson notices with fascination that while she keeps stabbing the pieces of tofu she is making no move to eat any of it.

"Cuddy, the way you are murdering that salad leads me to think otherwise. What did House do?"

"House didn't do anything." Cuddy sighs.

"Only one person gets you this weird and that's him."

"He didn't do anything and that is the problem." Cuddy answers.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, forget it." Cuddy dismisses.

"You do know. What is it?"

"It is just for once when I want him to be an ass, he isn't." Cuddy sighs.

"You want him to be an ass?" Wilson asks astonished.

"I told you we should just forget it." Cuddy retorts.

"Well now I am way too intrigued to let it go…"

"It is just that I am trying to get past all this nonsense and when he actually acts like a human being he just makes it harder." Cuddy explains.

"You have feelings for him." Wilson sagely notes.

"I thought you had kind of figured that one out by now." Cuddy responds knowing there is no use in denying it to him anymore.

"Well yeah I did, but that is the first time you have been so open about it." Wilson says with a hopeful tone to his voice. Thinking it has to be a good sign that at least one of the two of them might be coming to grips with the actual reality of the situation.

"Well at a certain point I just look like an idiot when it's clear you know what is going on."

"Seriously Cuddy, what is going on?"

Finally, Cuddy has had enough of it all and even though she knows Wilson's first loyalty is to House she just needs someone to talk to about what is going on her head.

"I thought I wanted things to go back to normal but the truth is that the old normal is not working for me. I have no idea how to get what I really want. I change my mind daily about if I can even handle what I want. Then I get pissed because what I want does not matter because he is who he is and he is never going to change. What I feel or don't feel is pretty much a moot point."

"I can see how that would be frustrating." Wilson nods surprised by how much she is sharing.

"I want to move on from all of this. Just when I think I can something happens that for a second makes me think, maybe… And that just sucks me back into his crazy vortex." Cuddy dejectedly sighs.

"You can't help who you love, Cuddy." Wilson points out.

"I never said anything about love," Cuddy says her tone sharp and defensive. The last thing she needs is for Wilson to tell House she is in love with him. She is sure that would go over just fantastically!

"You didn't have to, Cuddy. Listen, you and I both know House is never going to change but I know that in his way he does care about you. He is many things but plain stupid is not one of them. I really think something will make him see you two could work, eventually." Wilson optimistically notes hoping to make her feel better.

He feels a little guilty after he says it because knowing House as well as he does the man could probably be stupid enough never to be honest with her about how he feels.

"That is misguided but sweet, Wilson. I really don't want to talk about this anymore. Please don't mention any of this to him." Cuddy sighs seeing right through his attempts at comfort.

"Okay, I get it, it's in the vault. The next time we talk, I promise no mention of House. Are you leaving? It's after seven, I could walk you out?"

"Nah, I still have some work to do after I am done murdering this salad as you so aptly put it." Cuddy tries to joke.

"That's good. I actually have a few more things I need to take care of before I can call it a night, anyway. Just remember things have a way of working out."

"Thanks Wilson."

Wilson leaves the cafeteria and Cuddy goes back to thinking. She hoped letting some of her thoughts out to someone would help her. Instead, she is left feeling more emotional and more overwhelmed. She can feel a light stinging in her eyes and knows she is only going to be able to hold the tears back for a few more minutes. She picks up her uneaten salad and throws it away heading back to the sanctuary of her office.

* * *

_Song Credit: Path of Thorns, Sarah Mclachlan (p.s. the particular song line I used I think sums up Cuddy in regards to House pretty freaking perfectly.)_

_Next up:_ Reality is a little different from mere memories…. I hope that was vague and intriguing enough to get you to review this chapter. Yeah seriously, you should go do that right now.


	4. So Contagious

**A/N: **To my splendid reviewers, you are great. Keep it up. Few notes for you, I love that people find this funny cause the humor in House is one of my fav elements of the show. I do fully plan to finish this fic. I admit that I leave things when I am over them so I made a point to make sure I was actually going somewhere before I posted. House_ is_ frustrating and I find that it is hard to keep him in character and have some forward movement but I am trying. Okay that was long, on with the show…

**Chapter Four: So Contagious**

_Could this be out of line? Could this be out of line?  
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this  
You're the only one I would take a shot on  
Keep me hanging on so contagiously_

House is on his way out for the night. He is in a pretty decent mood. Solving his latest case had only taken him a few hours. He is hopeful that bearing the evil one does not force him to do clinic tomorrow he will have a free day of watching his soaps and bothering Wilson. As he walks by said evil one's office, he notices that the blinds are drawn but the light is still on. Cuddy does not usually stay this late. Seeing it as one last opportunity to bother her, he feels compelled to visit her before he leaves for the night.

Cuddy is softly crying at her desk when she hears the creak of her door. She curses herself for having enough sense to close the blinds but not enough to turn the lock. Knowing there is not much she can do to cover up her tear stained face, she simply looks up at her intruder. Seeing House staring back at her involuntarily makes another tear roll down her face.

"House, please I am not in the mood. Go." Cuddy says dejectedly.

"You are crying." House dumbly notes as he makes his way over to her.

"Yes, I was. I would really rather be alone while doing it." Cuddy returns.

Cuddy hastily wipes the remaining tears from her face. She is quickly regaining her composure now that she has an unwanted guest. House ignores her request to leave. Instead, he drops his cane, takes the guest chair on the opposite side of her desk, and pushes it so that it is directly next to her chair.

Cuddy laughs bitterly, "I tell you to go and you pull up a chair, typical."

"Cuddy, what is going on?" House asks uncharacteristically concerned.

"Nothing, seriously House you should get out." Cuddy replies speaking over him.

"You don't cry over nothing. Try again." House says his tone stern.

"Fine, you were right before it is menopause."

"Despite what I say to the contrary you are too young for the change of life, try again."

"I really hate you." Cuddy says without malice.

"Then you should probably tell me what is wrong because I don't plan on leaving until you do." House says trying to appeal to her sense of reason.

"Why because the reason I am crying is like some puzzle you need to solve?" Cuddy questions his motives for being concerned.

"Sure, that sounds like me." House agrees.

"Well go do a crossword, because I am not in the mood to be deciphered."

"If you won't tell me, I will start guessing. Do you really think that will turn out well?" House asks. When Cuddy does not respond, he tries changing tactics hoping to anger her into opening up. "Okay guessing it is! Guess number one, crotchety old Nurse Billingham sexually rejected you. Guess number two, you passed by a mirror and realized you have an apple bottom but Foreman still does not want to play hide the sausage with you. Guess number three, it has been so long since you have had sex with another person…."

"Fine, it is you! You're what is wrong, House!" Cuddy yells as a few more tears escape her eyes. She is so emotionally drained she cannot fight him off or listen to his inane drivel anymore.

"What did I do? Is it another lawsuit I don't know about?" House tries to joke. He is not so sure he wants to know the real answer anymore.

"Yes House, that is it exactly. I am crying over a lawsuit. You figured it out. Now can you please go away?"

"Cuddy…" House starts not knowing at this point if he is going to back down or force the conversation. Before he can make up his mind, she does it for him. The words begin to pour from Cuddy's mouth like a dam whose levies have finally burst.

"I am so damn sick of this. If you really want to know, I will tell you! You see for who knows how long now I meet a man who wants to be in a relationship with me. Then one of two things happens. Either you decide to ruin it or I manage to ruin it. In the end, it does not really matter because I can never manage to feel anything for any of them. I find myself wishing it was a big loss but it never actually is one. Which when you think about it is pretty crazy on my part that I actively wish to feel heartbroken." Cuddy says catching her breath before she continues.

House looks at her with wide eyes never knowing what to do when she is this open with him.

"Then with you, you are this huge jerk. You are only human at the oddest of moments. You have also made it abundantly clear there is no chance of any kind of a relationship between us. So please do not give me any of your archetypal this is all my problem crap. I am painfully aware of the fact that this is my problem. So if you do not want to hear this too bad because guess what idiot, you fucking asked! Still with all that no matter how hard I try not to this thing between us just…" Cuddy says losing steam and hoping he will catch her drift.

"Just…" House prompts somewhere between dying to run out before she can finish her thought and dying to hear the rest.

"…. it is the only time I feel. You the misanthropic, disinterested bastard are the only person I feel anything for and it just is not fair. So go ahead and say some atrocious over the line thing to prove me right and then please leave me alone."

Hot angry tears begin to fall down Cuddy's cheeks as she finishes her speech. She does not want to let him get to her like this and she is trying with everything inside of her to will the tears back but at this point, it is impossible.

House is for once at a complete loss for words. The only thing he comprehends is that Cuddy looks so broken. That this time, he alone is the reason for her demeanor. She has never looked more beautiful to him than she does at that moment tear stained and miserable. Everything she said is completely overwhelming him. His next action is pure instinct.

Gently he takes her chin turning her head towards him. He leans in slowly before tenderly grazing his lips over hers. House understands all to well what she is feeling. He has been trying for so long to deny what he feels for her and it never works for long. He can fool everyone else (_all though these days not even that_) but it is getting increasingly harder to fool himself. One light kiss turns into two and three until Cuddy lets her mouth open slightly.

Their lips press more firmly to each other strengthening their connection to one another. Slowly their tongues and teeth begin to mingle with each other. House starts to nibble on Cuddy's lower lip sucking it lightly. He brushes his tongue across the soft skin of her lips. Surprisingly, the sound of her own soft moaning at House's delicious ministrations brings Cuddy out of the moment they are sharing. She puts her hands to his chest and softly pushes him away from her. They are now knee-to-knee on their respective chairs.

A little out of breath, Cuddy begins her protest. "No, House you don't get to do this again! You cannot just kiss me! You and I both know tomorrow when my tears have dried and you are back to being your normal self, we will both make up reasons why this is a mistake. How it is a fluke and does not matter. I cannot do that anymore. I know you are not going to want to, but we need to talk about this. Once and for all _I_ need to talk about this…."

"I suck at talking, Cuddy. What in the hell do you expect to gain from talking about this? The last time we tried to talk, I felt you up. It is probably better if I just get out of here…" House despondently gets up. He is almost out of her office when Cuddy surprises them both by running ahead of him and cutting him off at the door, blocking him from leaving.

"No, you are not just going to leave! Damn it, House you kissed me. You once again start this crap by kissing me and I _know_ you feel something too. I just need to talk about…"

"Fine then, if I can't leave I am going to do this…." House says suddenly defiant.

He looks down at her kiss-swollen lips shocking the both of them when he grabs her and begins frantically kissing her. Unlike his soft approach with the previous kiss, he goes in full force. His tongue is immediately in her mouth claiming every inch he can taste. He wants to battle with their mouths as they do with everything else. House is beyond happy when he feels her vigorously begin to give as well as she is getting. He loves the feel of her tongue clashing with his, her teeth biting at his lips, the mixing of pain and pleasure.

Some part of Cuddy knows nothing is solved. That she needs to back away but the feeling of House's mouth on hers is simply too intense for her not to continue. Their mouths never leave each other as Cuddy pushes House backwards. House lets her take control of their movements until they fall back on to the couch. House regains command of the situation pushing Cuddy down until she is lying back. He covers a good portion of her body with his own. House is all over her face kissing and caressing her lips, cheeks, and chin.

Slowly his mouth begins trailing down her neck as his hands busy themselves with unbuttoning her shirt. Cuddy whimpers as he nibbles on the sensitive part of skin underneath her ear. First, he bites the skin, and then licks it. He gently blows on the wet flesh driving her wonderfully insane. Cuddy's shirt is still loosely on her but her bra and the flesh of her taut stomach are now out for House to admire. She sits back up slightly which forces him to take his mouth from her skin for a moment. He is disappointed for an instant until he realizes she wants him to take off her shirt. He quickly removes it before his mouth descends back upon hers.

As they kiss, his hands gently graze her waist with his skillful fingers. Slowly he slides them up the sides of her stomach until the reach the outer part of her breasts. He moves inwards and fills his hands with her breasts. He begins to gently cup and massage the flawless mounds. She stifles her own moans by reaching her arms around his neck and bringing her lips more fully to his.

Their mouths are dueling for control each trying to express everything they can never get across with words. House lightly brushes his thumbs over Cuddy's bra clad nipples. Cuddy bites down on his lip from the pleasure of his ministrations. House feels Cuddy's hand begin to wander down his torso slowly going for his belt buckle. Emboldened by her reaction to him, House reluctantly lets go of her breasts to reach behind Cuddy and finds the clasp of her bra. He is hoping to get a feel of the perfect handfuls of flesh without anything in between them. House is focusing completely on getting the lacy material off her. For a moment, he halts all other assaults on her body. His lips leave hers as his head rests on the top of her shoulder.

This slight slowing down gives Cuddy the opportunity to look around at her surroundings. As the lust haze begins to clear up a bit, she quickly realizes the reality of the situation. She is in her office of all places and is about to have sex with an employee at work. Not only is he her employee, but he is House! Her brain begins to rapid-fire list off all of the reasons this cannot possibly happen.

Although her throbbing body is loudly telling her to go for it, her over analytical mind quickly wins out. Cuddy gently takes his arms from behind her before he can accomplish his goal and places them in his own lap. House looks up at her with a mix of confusion and desire as both of them breathe heavily at each other.

"House…" she finally pants.

"What?" House says equally out of breath.

"This cannot happen." Cuddy states without much conviction.

"Why in the hell not woman? I am in, little House is in, and your tongue and funbags seemed to be going along just fine with things…" House senses the weakness in her response and pounces on it. At this point, he is sure it is his dick doing most of the talking.

Cuddy takes in his winded face and immense blue yearning eyes. Her body is screaming at her to just give in and take whatever gratification she can get from the man. She does not know if its hormone induced but she realizes that House is right. The two of them talking probably will not get them anywhere. However, not talking has been working out rather nicely until she put the brakes on.

"Fine, you are right but we are _**not**_ doing this here." Cuddy concedes in a voice so low and throaty that House has to strain to hear each word.

"Okay, is my office better?" House quickly quips.

"No, I am not having sex with you in the hospital! Seriously it is not going to happen." Cuddy firmly states.

"But you are saying we're going to have sex, right?" House questions.

"Nah, I thought my top was off because we were going to knit me a sweater." Cuddy replies gaining some sense of humor back.

House laughs before leering down at her in her lacy black bra. Seeing her perfect breasts heaving with every intake of breath leaves House wishing with everything inside of him that he had been just a little quicker in his attempt to remove the offending garment. No longer in the heat of the moment, Cuddy becomes a little bit more self-conscience. She grabs her blouse and shrugs it back on but does not bother to button it.

"Listen House, you are right you do suck at talking, and well you don't suck at other things so… I do not really expect anything from you. I need to finish here. If you still think at nine o' clock this is something you want to do, then meet me at my place." Cuddy says with way more confidence then she is actually feeling.

She knows she is laying it all on the line. She is also aware of how dangerous that can be with this particular man. She knows if he comes over, she will let it happen. However, the more cautious part of her cannot help but give him another out, or a way to ruin it, before it actually happens.

"No expectations? Come on, Cuddy. There are always expectations. Everybody lies. I almost hate to bring this up and not that I am complaining but this is a bit of a turn around from the _no House we can't_ spiel you were spouting off before."

"I guess I just figure what we were doing wasn't working. We are probably screwed either way. So why not….."

"Literally screw?" House finishes.

"Something like that." Cuddy half laughs.

"Cuddy?" House begins sounding more unsure than she has ever heard him before.

"Yes, House?" She asks slightly concerned by his tone.

"You know I really do suck at this, right? Not the sex part, I happen to be fantastic at that, mind-blowing even. "

She lightly chuckles, "Yeah House, I understand. I think it's excruciatingly clear we both suck at this."

"Cuddy?" He asks repetitively.

"Yes, House?"

"You know what the worst part of this is…." House asks.

Cuddy cannot help but worry as House continues.

"We are proving Wilson right. Stupid can't unring a bell."

Cuddy laughs an actual full husky laugh. "If that is the worst part we aren't doing so badly."

"Cuddy?" House asks once more knowing he is probably annoying her. Feeling good to be doing one thing he is comfortable with doing.

Exasperated she answers, "yes, House?"

"I will see you and those fantastic jugs at nine."

As House speaks, she can almost tell he means it. She is also aware that he could very easily change his mind.

"House?" Cuddy mimics House's earlier questioning.

"Yes, Cuddy?"

"If I don't see you tonight than we can never…. this has to be done. All of it, for my sanity." Cuddy is hoping House really understands that this is the last shot she is taking on him.

"I know." House says seriously.

House leaves and Cuddy cannot help but smile. She does not understand how that man can make her feel excited and doomed at the same time. She is hoping that by 9:30 she will be too satisfied to care.

* * *

House goes back to his office knowing it is the quickest place for him to get a stiff drink. Sitting at his desk, he has a glass of scotch in one hand as his alternate hand rolls his vicodin bottle back and forth in his palm. His brain is going into overdrive. He starts talking himself out of meeting Cuddy at her place almost immediately.

He knows despite how fantastic things had been going in her office none of this will end well. He wonders what possessed him to once again, initiate sexual contact with her. He wonders why he prides himself on never caring about anyone else when they're upset but the sight of Cuddy crying leads him to do stupid irrational things.

Something finally snaps and he can no longer deny that he is in love with her. It is the only logical explanation and has been the only logical explanation for his actions for quite sometime. He knows a normal person would feel happy about being in love but all he can feel is a deep sense of resentment. He is not supposed to love anyone. He is not good at loving people. He swore after Stacy that he would never do it again. Somehow, she managed to sneak her way into his heart. He finds it odd that he cannot pinpoint when he started feeling this way. It is peculiar to him that he feels like it has been twenty years in the making and at the same time, it is as if the feeling came out of nowhere.

House does not think he is capable of having more with someone, even Cuddy. He will screw it up probably sooner rather then later. Then one of the two people in his life he actually gives a shit about will be gone. At the same time, he knows Cuddy was dead serious when she told him this was his last shot. While he cannot imagine them together, the thought of her with someone else makes him want to punch the nearest face.

Realistically, he knows that of the two of them she is the more together one. Yeah, she is caught up in him now but if he rejects her again, it could very well be the last straw for her. If she removes herself from their game, what will he do? He supposes he could just sabotage any chance she has at happiness for the rest of his life. While it is an option, he sees too many holes in that plan, too many ways it could fail. He hates that the answer of what he should do is not clear to him. He wishes he could diagnose his current problem with a white board and four idiots just as he would anything else that weighed on his mind this heavily.

House is so deep in thought that Wilson is fully in his office before he notices his presence.

"I saw the light on. I thought you figured out your case. Why are you still here?" Wilson asks as he plops down in the chair across from House.

House looks up wearily at Wilson. He is determined to not to reveal anything about what just happened with Cuddy. He might have no idea what he should do but he knows the last thing he needs now is Wilson's pansy advice.

"Oh my god, you kissed Cuddy again?!" Wilson practically screams as he sees House's face.

"How could you possibly… what the hell did she call you as soon as I left?" House begins to get angry at Cuddy thinking she has more sense then involving Wilson in anything that had to do with the two of them.

"No dude, you have a tiny bit of lipstick above your lip. I wasn't completely sure it was Cuddy's but since _Pretty Woman_ taught me hookers don't kiss on the mouth it seemed like a safe bet. So I went with it." Wilson says happy to have caught House in something.

"Way to go, Colombo. I have an idea, why don't you go try to solve the case of your missing penis and leave me alone you chick flick watching wuss," House snarks.

"House, what happened?" Wilson asks undeterred.

"Let it go, Wilson. I am not in the mood." House says seriously.

"How long have you known me? I am not going to let it go. You can't keep doing this to her...." Wilson prods thinking back to his earlier conversation with Cuddy.

"Wilson, get out!"

"Fine, I will after you listen to what I have to say." Wilson begins resolute, "I know you better than you think. I am sure since you kissed her, whatever the circumstances behind it since clearly you aren't going to tell me… You have been trying to talk yourself out of letting anything else happen between you and her. You are sure it will all end in misery, destruction, and blah, blah, blah the world sucks and everyone dies rotting and alone. Well newsflash, you two are already miserable and it is easy to stop it! Just grow up, go to her, and make something work. You cannot keep doing this to her. You are going to lose her for good if you do not step it up somehow. Just think for a moment about what it would be like if she truly gives up on you. I really really do not want to be around to attempt to clean up that particular train wreck. It is not like either of you are actually capable of normal white picket fences and golden retrievers crap, but that is why you two would work… It does not have to be like everyone else's definition of a relationship. You can figure out your own weird thing that will work for the both of you. I am sure of it."

"Are you done yet, Pollyanna?" House asks giving away nothing.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Wilson sighs. He hopes that any part of what he said got through to his stubborn best friend.

"Hey Wilson what time is it?"

Wilson thinks the question is a bit out of left field but answers, "8:45…"

"Okay seriously get out. I've got somewhere I have to be." House says suddenly determined.

"Is this a good thing?" Wilson questions.

"Please stop it before I change my mind just to be contrary and piss you off." House replies.

Wilson hoping for the best smartly does not say anything. He just stands up and follows House out of his office.

* * *

_Song Credit: So Contagious, Acceptance _

_Next Up: _Cuddy has a visitor but it is not quite what she expected….I'd really love to know what you think about this particular chapter. I worked hard on trying to keep it within the realm of possibility for these two characters. Let me know your thoughts, click click.


	5. Fire

**A/N: **First, thanks to everyone who reviews! If this were elementary school, I would make you all awards with paper stars that said best reviewers with your names on it. Second, I had to split this chapter into two because it ended up being a big honking thing. So know when reading this that the next chapter will take place as a continuation… Oh and if your cats name happens to be Mr. Mittens, I apologize.

**Chapter Five: Fire**

_No it don't come easy  
No it don't come fast  
Lock me up inside your garden  
Take me to the riverside  
Fire burning me up  
Desire taking me so much higher  
_

Cuddy has no idea what to wear. She had gotten home, taken a shower, and has been staring blankly into her pajama drawer for a good fifteen minutes. She takes her eyes away from the drawer for a second to look at the clock behind her. It was eight fifty, ten minutes until the end of the world as she knew it. She supposes that is a little dramatic but ultimately true. Cuddy knows that whether House shows up or not after tonight, her world will not be the same. By nine, either something will finally start between her and him, or she is finally ready to end the longest game of cat and mouse she has ever willingly played.

She keeps flip-flopping between wanting to wear the cutest sexiest thing she owns, and being terrified if she puts it on he will not show up. Then, she will be the sad old lady in back lace and red bows mourning the demise of a relationship that never even was. Sure, no one would be around to see but just the thought was enough to make her cringe. The only thing worse would be if she had all the traditional spinster paraphernalia. She has the clearest imagine in her head of herself in a big terry cloth robe with tissues everywhere and a bunch of cats with names like Mr. Mittens surrounding her.

Tired of her own building neurosis she finally makes a wardrobe selection. She settles on a white lace trimmed spaghetti strapped tank top and pink and white striped pajama shorts. She quickly sheds her robe and deftly slips into her choice. Cuddy looks at herself in her full-length mirror. She feels like the outfit is a good compromise. It is cute enough if he actually comes over, and not so sexy she will feel like an idiot when House never arrives.

With that out of the way, she sits on her bed and waits. Her fingers nervously fiddle with the elastic band she should be putting in her hair. Her eyes glued to her bedside clock with excessive interest.

Cuddy is beginning to feel a bit schizophrenic. She cannot help but feel hopeful, her heart thudding with excitement and possibility. At the same time, she is completely terrified at being hopeful. A sense of dread settling deep in the pit of her stomach because when has being optimistic about House ever worked out for her.

A part of her wants to stare out her window so she will know the exact second that he arrives. Another part of her wants to turn off every light, hide her extra key, and pretend she is not home avoiding this all together. A third more pessimistic part of her is telling her that none of it matters because he is never going to show up.

Another minute passes before she decides that it is the sitting that is doing this to her. She stands and heads to the bathroom. She puts up her hair in a lose ponytail letting a few errant curls fall where they may. She feels ridiculous, but it does not stop her from applying some light make-up to her face. She reasons that it is giving herself something to do besides obsess about things she has no control over.

It is nine o' five when she hears the distinct sound of cane against wood coming from her door. Her heart leaps in her chest at the sound. She grabs her robe throwing it back on over her clothes without tying it before quickly heading towards the sound.

She puts on the calmest face she can muster as she opens the door. She sees House standing on her porch. His expression is giving away absolutely nothing about his intentions. He looks rather solemn and it immediately dismays Cuddy.

"Hi." Cuddy quietly utters. "You came."

"Cuddy, I can't…" are the first words out of House's mouth. His expression is disinterested and his tone melancholy.

The three words are enough to make Cuddy's heart freefall. This cannot be good. She puts on her best game face instantly perceiving his words as a rejection.

"I understand." Cuddy interrupts House before he can say anything else. Her words begin nervously tumbling out of her mouth, "Well, thanks for coming here and telling me. That was respectable of you, House. More than I expected really. I mean I know you could have easily just not shown up at all. So yeah, thanks. I will see you tomorrow, probably. I mean we do not necessarily see each other everyday but I mean we do work together, so it is inevitable that eventually…. "

"Cuddy…" House interrupts speaking over her, "Can I come in?"

"But you just said…"

"I said three words and you jumped to your own conclusions." House growls a little more sternly than he would have liked. House has no idea what he is doing but he knows turning around without even going inside at this point is not an option.

"So you can?" Cuddy wonders visibly confused.

"I don't know." House confesses.

"So you don't then," Cuddy knows it is useless to try and get in House's head. However, his quiet demeanor and cryptic answers are making it impossible for her not to give it her best attempt.

"I didn't say that either, Cuddy. I asked to come in didn't I?" House taps his cane on her front door as a signal to open the door wider.

"Yeah, you did." Cuddy agrees but still makes no move to invite him inside her home.

"Well, then why the hell am I still outside?" House finally loses the little patience he has left.

"I don't know." Cuddy responds still trying to assess the situation.

"Well either let me in or I am leaving. I am freezing my balls off out here. Of all the working body parts I have left, those little guys might not be the best to look at but we have had some good times. The only way I can foresee that continuing is by keeping them attached to my body."

"That's lovely. Poetic even, you would almost sound human if you took out the fact that you are talking about your testicles." Cuddy sarcastically returns.

House little speech works because after she finishes speaking she opens the door fully. She allows him to walk past her and inside her home. Once he is in, she closes the door behind him. She turns to look at him with expectant eyes.

"So…" Cuddy awkwardly starts. "You're in."

"So, I am." House returns.

"Living room?" Cuddy says motioning further inside.

House nods in the affirmative. They wordlessly make their way to Cuddy's living room with House trailing behind Cuddy. The silence between them is so loud it echoes. Once they make it to the sofa, House drops his cane and jacket on the chair next to him before he plops down on one side of the couch. Cuddy takes a moment to see what he is doing before she decides to sit down next to him. Still unsure of where things are going she puts more space than necessary between them cozying up to armrest opposite him. The tension and silence are very unsettling to the both of them. Neither one of them have any idea what they should do next.

House is at a complete loss. It took every bit of optimism he had (_which admittedly was a small well to drain_) just making his way to her door and unlike last time actually knocking. He was hoping that seeing her would make things clearer, no such luck.

"So…" Cuddy says again, when the silence is just too much for her. As soon as the words leave her lips, she chastises herself for sounding like such an imbecile.

"What the hell is happening with us? We sound like idiots. I hate idiots. You may be an idiot but I am not an idiot." House groans turning to face Cuddy.

"You are right. I have no idea how to do this…. I don't even know what we are doing." Cuddy returns. "We aren't fighting, we aren't bantering, and I am no longer an emotional mess. I have certain ways of… of…."

"…Dealing with me?" House finishes for her.

"No…." Cuddy tries to deny but quickly sees House is not buying it. "Okay, yes. I kind of thought if you did show up here tonight…. You know we would…. well…. just get right to it. Instead, I open my door and the first thing you say is you can't but then you ask to come in and now you are eerily quiet."

"True. That was a nice cliff notes version of the last five minutes of my life. I might go to the bathroom soon so you can try out your recapping skills further," House snarks.

"What in the hell, House? I am trying here, okay. Why are you always such a bastard? What are you even doing right now? What exactly did you mean by I can't? And if you can't, why are you even here?" With Cuddy's frustration, her verbal abilities come flooding back.

"There is the Cuddy I know and lo…" House starts strong and then trails off. He cannot believe he said that much, maybe he was an idiot.

"You know and low?" Cuddy parrots with a sexy smirk.

With House's slip of the tongue, Cuddy suddenly feels much more confident. He is always showing her how well he truly knows her that she often forgets that she knows him too. House has always been a complicated man but knowing him over twenty years, she has learned a thing or two about him.

Cuddy realizes if she does not do something quickly, he is going to bolt. It had probably taken everything in him to come here tonight after the heat of the moment was gone. However, he is here now and for House that has to mean something. She admits that she sucks at anything personal but out of the two of them, she is by far the more stable one. If she wants this to happen, she is going to have to take them both the rest of the way. The whole thing is a little daunting to Cuddy knowing one wrong move with House could lead to a horrible Titanic level disaster.

House feels like now is a great time for him to get the hell out of there. "You know, I forgot that I made an appointment with two lovely ladies and various edible massage oils so if you will excuse me…"

Cuddy reaches out and grabs his hand to stop him from leaving.

"Just let me talk for a second. If you still want to run out of here to your oils after I am done then please be my guest."

House does not respond back but does not move either. She takes this as a good sign and scoots closer to him. She is now hip-to-hip with the man and House turns his head to look at her in the face.

"I know this is crazy and weird. I know you would rather piss me off with talk about hookers. I know you would rather pretend this never happened and you never showed up here. However, I think we should just this once try going with what is happening between us because shockingly enough I think it might be fun. Plus, fighting it tooth and nail hasn't been working out that great for us."

"Speak for yourself. I have been fine with things. The only thing I like more than fighting with teeth is when you add nails to the mix." House grumps.

"You are seriously going to go with that? Come on House, I believe every time we have kissed it has been initiated by you, idiot." Cuddy answers back without malice. "And the whole idea of something more than kissing was also started by you. That is not exactly the status quo. I mean you are here now aren't you?"

"So I want to have sex with you. Big deal, with the outfits you wear who doesn't? I have even seen Thirteen giving you the eye when you wear that one black skirt with the obscenely high slit! If she ever makes the proposition do me two favors. One be sure to accept, and two be sure to leave your curtains open."

"I think somewhere in there was a compliment." Cuddy laughs and keeps laughing. She starts with light giggles which progress into full-blown almost hysterical laughter.

"What's with the maniacal laughter? You sound like you have some young maiden tied to a railroad track somewhere. All you need is to twist your mustache, which by the way I can see from here."

"It is just of all the possible scenarios I had floating in my head about how tonight might go this was not one of them." Cuddy responds wiping tears of laughter from her eyes while ignoring his attempt to bait her.

"And what is this exactly?" House solicits. He is feeling a little cornered and desperately wants to know where she is going with all of this.

"This is me trying to convince you that we should have sex. This is so funny because literally two hours ago, it was the other way around. I never thought I would see the day Greg House was actually at a loss for what he should do. It is almost sweet you are scared of fucking things up, aren't you?"

"You are delusional and pretty full of yourself, Cuddy. The people with the big butterfly nets should be knocking on your door any second now. I see a padded room and a straight jacket in your immediate future."

"Oh just shut up for once and go with it." Cuddy quickly snaps.

Before House can say anything back, Cuddy's lips smash against his. He responds immediately his tongue darting into her open mouth. The kiss is instantly intense. All of House's negative thoughts shortly leave his head until the only thing left rattling up there is how much he likes the way she tastes. When the need for oxygen because unavoidable Cuddy pulls back slightly.

"For once, admit it. I am right." Cuddy laughs throatily she is still so close that while she speaks her lips lightly brush his.

"Never going to happen, Cuddles." House whispers.

Before Cuddy can reply, House kisses her firmly on the lips.

When they break apart, he speaks, "Are you going to let me get into your pants anyways?"

"House, you need to stop talking. I think with you not talking is key. Let's move this to my bedroom." Cuddy breathes.

House stands up and toes off his shoes as he steps towards a now standing Cuddy. When he reaches her, she grabs him by the wrist and helps guide him as quickly as his leg will allow him to her room.

Although House is talking a good game at this point, as Cuddy directs him down her hall he still has his reservations. He wonders what doing this will mean in the end. Thinking of the multiple ways having sex with each other will come back to haunt them.

However, a stronger part of him is thinking Cuddy is sexy as hell and he has wanted to do this with her since he last had the opportunity twenty some years ago. He would have to be a massive idiot and should pretty much turn in his heterosexual man card if he does not take what she is offering.

"I am going to take that as a yes to getting into your pants or itty bitty shorts in this case." House says focusing on Cuddy and squashing the rest. "This isn't some trick where I am going to end up locked in your sex dungeon is it?"

"Not this time. I like to lure my men in with a false sense of security before I bring out the torture devices. Besides all that stuff is in my basement and it just isn't worth the trip down there." Cuddy deadpans.

"I can only imagine the many men locked down there foolishly waiting for your return. If Wilson ever disappears, I know where I am looking first." House retorts.

Cuddy laughs, "Just be glad for your reprieve."

Once in her doorway House abruptly takes his wrist away from Cuddy's grasp. Before she can ask what he is doing, he takes his vicodin from his pocket opening the orange bottle and dry swallowing a few before placing it back in his pants.

Without saying a word, Cuddy puts both her hands on House's chest pushing him into the room. She does not stop their forward movement until the back of House's knees hit her bed. She takes her hands off him for a moment but only to regain momentum as she pushes him with a bit of force onto her bed.

"So violent, I like it." House says as he moves to the head of the bed and placing his head down on one of her pillows.

"You've just medicated, you can handle it." Cuddy says with a throaty laugh.

Cuddy quickly slips off her robe and makes her way next to him on the bed. She is propping herself on her side. She makes sure her body is pressing fully against the side of his torso. For good measure, she throws one of her legs over his good one making sure they are tangling nicely together. Her hands gently caress his shirt-covered chest as her mouth begins placing light kisses on his lips and chin, slowly moving down towards his neck.

She is trying to keep in the moment. However, through her ministrations a tiny nagging part of her brain starts getting louder and louder. It is telling her to run away as fast as possible from what she is about to do. All the confidence she had just moments ago is waning. The stupid voice is telling her she currently has no idea what he is thinking other than she has convinced him to do this with her now. She has no idea if this is the start of something or a one-time thing. It is saying he is her employee, how in some messed up way he is a close friend. How crossing this line with him again could potentially ruin any sense of normalcy in her life.

Suddenly, Cuddy does not know if she can finish what she has just started.

* * *

_Song Credit: Fire, Augustana_

_**Oh cliffhanger!**_

_Next up:_ Cuddy finally makes up her mind, for realsies. Will you like it? I do not know but I sure do. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter you know what to do.


	6. Hurricane

**A/N: Thank you reviewers, you make writing this extra fun. Hope you like!**

**Chapter Six: Hurricane**

_You don't do it on purpose  
But you make me shake  
Now I count the hours 'til you wake  
With your babies breath  
Breathe symphonies  
Come on sweet catastrophe_

Cuddy starts to pull back slightly. She is ready to backtrack. As if House can read her thoughts, he reaches his right arm around her grasping her tightly to him. He pulls her closer so she is half on his chest. He places his lips fully over hers in the process. He takes her bottom lip between both of his. House begins kissing her with a deep intensity. His hand begins rubbing her back in soothing circles as he goes at her lips with complete concentration.

The combination is gentle and needy at the same time. Somehow, House's tender movements are enough to silence Cuddy's inner voice. The sense of need, the intensity Cuddy can feel from House is actually palpable. Maybe he can never tell her how he feels, but he is currently doing an amazing job of showing her. She goes with the exhilarating sensation it is causing within her. She sinks into his kisses becoming an active participant showing him with her mouth that she feels the same way.

As House's lips work their magic, Cuddy realizes she does not care about the perfection she normally strives for in all aspects of her life. She does not care that no detailed planning went into this. She is not concerned that most likely at some point in the future this all will explode in her face.

All she wants is for him to keep doing what he is doing the future be damned. In relationships, she has always been one to look back and think _what if_ and she refuses to do that with him anymore. She resolves to remain in the moment from now on. House takes a second to breathe giving Cuddy the opportunity to look intensely into his hazy lust-filled blue eyes. His bright eyes only cement her decision.

"I never thanked you for the desk," She quietly exhales licking her lips.

"No, you didn't." House returns with a slight smirk on his face. "I think doing extremely dirty things to me is the only way to make it up to me at this point. I am not talking Cinemax after dark dirty, either. I am talking behind the red curtain at your local sex shop dirty…"

"Remember what we did on that desk? That was pretty red curtain dirty." Cuddy asks huskily. Leaning down she gives him a brief but firm kiss on the lips.

"No, but I do vividly recall doing a little puff, puff, pass and listening to the Clash around that desk." House jokes before going back to her lips for another taste.

Cuddy looks up confused, "House, that never happened."

"Yeah, it did. You just weren't there, but it turns out Kutner had a fat joint the other day, and I didn't want my office to smell so naturally I thought Cuddy's Office ..." House responds trying his best to keep a straight face.

"Right of course. I should have thought that from the beginging. You and Kutner are like a modern day _Cheech and Chong_..." Cuddy asks catching on that it's all joke.

"I hope I am_ Cheech_ in this scenario."

Cuddy nibbles on his ear as she whispers, "Focus. Me, you, desk, ringing any bells."

"Nah, not doing it for me." House grins enjoying teasing her. Knowing that in reality, he could recite detail by detail of what they had done on that desk.

"Well, if I am so forgettable I guess I will just take this time to catch up on my sleep." Cuddy responds mock hurt as she makes to roll away from him.

House's arm grabs onto her tightly keeping her closely at his side. "You are supposed to say you will just have to remind me."

"Oh was I," Cuddy laughs into his chest.

"Yeah, I told you red curtain. Come on it is a porn classic. It is right up there with '_I have a package here with your name on it'_, Keep up lady!" House returns placing a light kiss in her hair. So light Cuddy is not sure if she imagined it or not.

Cuddy takes her hand and begins stroking up and down the front of his pants. She tilts her head up and resumes her tiny kisses along his jaw.

"I guess reminding you wouldn't be so bad. I mean there are worse things I could do with my time. Like a root canal, or a Michael Bolton concert, for example…." Cuddy says cheekily between her soft kisses.

"Well, it can't be exactly like last time. My leg limits the acrobatics." House says suddenly much too serious for Cuddy's liking.

"Ah ha! So you do remember!" Cuddy says with a glint in her eyes determined to keep it light between them. "While that night was wonderful, I prefer being on top anyway."

"Now that is more like it. I knew all that dominatrix stuff wasn't just a product of my overactive imagination." House encourages.

Cuddy wiggles from his loosed grasp and gets up on her knees. She swings one leg over his torso and straddles him.

"See, so much better." Cuddy purrs as she slowly lowers her bottom on to House's growing bulge. She begins leisurely moving her hips in tiny circles over his lap. Even through her shorts and his pants, the friction is doing wonderful things for the both of them. She can feel House get harder beneath her with each gentle sway of her hips.

House sits up a little to look at her. "Finally, I have been asking you for a lap dance for ages…"

"What did I say about talking? I am sure you can find some other way of occupying yourself." Cuddy sexily responds.

Before House can retort she stuns him silent when she whips her tank top off in one fluid motion. The action leaves her now naked breasts dangling tantalizingly in front of his face.

"When you are right, you are right." House mumbles.

He takes a moment to look at her newly exposed skin and is pleased to know that age has been kind to Cuddy. Her breasts are still as spectacular as he remembered, perhaps even more so. He moves his face in closer so that they are close enough to touch. He places a few small kisses on one breast before moving his mouth to her nipple gently sucking the flesh. In the interest of fairness, he moves to the other breast giving it the same treatment. Her nipples immediately harden at the sensation and Cuddy gasps at the heady feeling.

"See I knew I would get you to admit I am right about something." Cuddy pants as House continues to lavish attention on her breasts.

House does not respond, verbally. He just takes the opportunity to pull her nipple back into his mouth and bite down a little roughly. Cuddy cannot help the moan that escapes her lips.

"If that was supposed to be a punishment, I might just have to start being as annoying to you as you are to me." Cuddy says grinding down harder in his lap.

"Believe me you are plenty annoying. So if now I get the added bonus of the twins coming out to play, by all means annoy me any chance you get." is House's muffled reply before going right back to licking and kissing his favorite parts of her.

"You are wearing too many clothes," Cuddy groans grasping at the back of his shirt.

He reluctantly moves his head from her breasts and lets Cuddy pull the shirt off him.

"Pants," She growls as she kisses his now exposed chest.

"Unfortunately Cuddy, from your current position me taking off my pants is kind of impossible."

"I guess I just have to do everything." Cuddy returns with a laugh.

Cuddy puts her hands on House's chest so he is lying fully back. Then she raises herself up and swings herself off House's lap so she is on her knees on the side of him. She bends down and starts unbuttoning his jeans. She is placing random kisses on his stomach as she works with the buttons. Cuddy's current position hovering over him gives House the view of a lifetime of her perfect rack.

"Just in case I haven't made it clear enough over the years you have a fantastic pair of boobs, like seriously top notch."

Cuddy stands up next to the bed pulling House's pants off him with one quick tug as she responds, "Wow you are so romantic House. I am surprised my panties didn't just fall right off with that line."

"I could help with that." House returns sitting up so that he is at the edge of the bed. His feet touching the floor.

He grabs Cuddy by the waist and pulls her so she is standing between his boxer-clad legs. He grabs the bottom of her shorts and quickly yanks them off her, the material pooling at her feet.

"You aren't wearing any underwear." House utters in pure amazement. He is openly staring at the sight of a fully naked Lisa Cuddy.

"Oh I guess _that_ is why my panties didn't fall off." Cuddy says confidently. She sports a beaming smile on her face happy with House's obvious admiration of her body.

"You are good. Very, very, good. I would hate for your ass to feel left out of the compliments. So let me take this opportunity to tell you that you have some seriously hot junk in the trunk." House smirks using his flattened palm to give her ass a gentle tap to accentuate his point.

House grabs her more firmly and pulls them both with a bit of vigor so they flop back onto the bed. Cuddy is now lying on top of House. His legs slightly spread apart while hers are nestled between them. The unexpected playfulness House is showing causes a giggle to escape Cuddy's mouth.

"Laugh it up, chuckles." House rasps into her hair before rolling them both over so he is now lying on top of her.

House's lips descend back on to Cuddy's silencing any reply she was going to make. Their mouths open instantly as they enthusiastically nip and lick at each other. House's hand shimmies between them slowly moving down to Cuddy's center. He sticks his fingers between her folds and is surprised by how wet she already is.

"Damn Cuddy, I was expecting to have to do a little more foreplay. It's like Niagara falls down there." House groans into her mouth.

"I don't think it's a shock to you that it has been awhile for me. Besides foreplay is overrated, I am more than ready for the main event." Cuddy makes her point by reaching into House's boxers and giving his erection a long stoke. "You feel pretty ready to me."

"Foreplay is not overrated." House counters as he continues to put his fingers to good use inside her.

"You are right it isn't, but I need you inside me, now. So let's save it for round two." Cuddy agrees with a staggered breath.

"Round two, you are awfully confident."

"With my fantastic pair of boobs, I am sure I can whip you up at some point for a second go around." Cuddy says mimicking House's earlier words. Cuddy tugs at House's boxers freeing his erection from its cotton confines.

"Let's focus on the first go around." House says moving slightly so that the tip of him is at her entrance.

"Excellent idea," Cuddy says with a gasp.

House slowly inch by inch begins pushing his way inside her.

"God, Cuddy you are so tight." House moans as he slides deeper in.

"Call me Lisa." Cuddy whispers back clutching at House's back as her mouth moves to his ear.

Cuddy wraps her legs tightly around House's torso groaning as she effectively pulls him all the way inside of her. The slight pain is more than worth it. The feeling of finally having him entirely inside her indescribable.

House knows better than to protest her request. The next words out of his mouth are, "Fuck, Lisa."

"Okay, that sounded weird. Let's stick with Cuddy."

"Seriously, I will call you Wilson if it means I get to keep doing this." House says giving himself a second more to acclimate to the feeling of her snugly around him.

Cuddy briefly laughs until House begins gradually moving inside her body turning her chuckle into a groan of approval.

"House, damn this feels good. You feel good." Cuddy moans as he begins leisurely pumping into her.

"I have no complaints about how you feel either."

House begins a steady rhythm, and Cuddy's mind goes pleasantly blank. She concentrates on the feel of him sliding in and out of her. She realizes that she has never had the pleasure of his weight on top of her and is surprised to find it such a comfort. After a few minutes of increasing pleasure, a thought occurs to her and she speaks up.

"Hey, I thought I was going to be on top." Cuddy sexily breathes while gently licking the outside of House's ear.

"Who is stopping you?" House grunts back, thrusting deeply in her as he speaks.

They both roll over until House is flat on his back. In the shift, they never lose contact with one another. Cuddy pushes herself up using House's chest. She immediately pulls her body up so that House is almost fully out of her before impaling herself back on to his erection.

"You do that again and this is going to be a very quick first go around." House warns.

"I have faith in you." Cuddy smiles before starting a more manageable pace on top of him.

For a long time the only sounds in the room are their soft sighs and groans. Cuddy moves up and down over House twisting and swiveling her hips as she works. When she remembers she tries to be mindful of his leg. If he is in any pain, he is not making it known. She is about to ask when House begins to meet her with his own thrusts creating a speed that is working quite fantastically for the both of them.

The new increased rhythm leaves Cuddy without words. Cuddy needs more contact with him so she bends down, and gives House an open mouth kiss. His tongue finds hers and soon their mouths are mimicking the rhythm of their bodies.

Cuddy's hair surrounds her face, her ponytail non-existent at this point. The tendrils graze House's cheeks and chest and he is surprised to find the feeling comforting. It had been a long time but he was quickly remembering that sex with Cuddy was always something more than it had been with anyone else. When breathing becomes necessary, Cuddy straightens back up on top of him.

"Oh I am so close." Cuddy whimpers bouncing as she speaks, "so fucking close."

House sits up, knowing he is not going to last much longer. He might not be a gentleman in most senses of the word, but he does want to make sure she is satisfied before his own release. He decides to make good use of his hands knowing that should take her the rest of the way. One hand glides over her clit repetitively stroking the sensitive area. His other hand clutches at her back switching up the angle a bit, as he moves his upper body closer to hers. His assumption is correct and before long the new combination leads to Cuddy letting out a piercing scream.

Cuddy's orgasm washes over her with monster truck force, the intensity of it almost making her tear up. She cannot remember the last time she came as hard as she currently was with him. After a few more strokes the clenching of her muscles around him becomes too much and sends House over the edge. Her name rips from his lips as he plunges into her once more before erupting inside her.

They stay joined for a few minutes with House now softly inside Cuddy. House is lying fully back against her pillows completely spent by their activities. This time the silence that surrounds the room feels right. Their eyes are both closed as they take in what just happened between them. Eventually, Cuddy begins to worry her weight on him might not be so great for his leg and quietly disengages herself from on top of his body. She rolls over and lies on her back so that their arms are touching.

"Wow." Cuddy sighs contentedly. She is expecting House to say something but is surprised when he stays silent. She speaks again, "House?"

When he still does not reply she sits up. She looks over at the man, and sees that his eyes are still closed and his breathing regulated. She laughs quietly when she realizes he is asleep. She enjoys the idea that she must have really worn him out.

"I still got it." Cuddy says into the air.

She rolls out of bed and heads towards the bathroom. She feels like a schoolgirl with a crush but she cannot help but look back every few seconds at House's sleeping form. It is as if she needs to remind herself that he is really in her bed. By the time she reaches her bathroom, she is actually humming a soft happy tune with a beaming smile plastered across her face. For the first time in a long time, life is good for Lisa Cuddy.

* * *

It is two o' clock in the morning when House wakes up to find a naked Cuddy curled up against him, softly snoring. Her head is resting on his chest. Her hair is tickling his nose. Two thoughts fill his sleep-laden brain simultaneously. The first is that he needs like a handful of vicodin because his leg feels like (_he tries to come up with a clever metaphor)_ but all he can think of is his leg feels as if he just had some amazingly hot sex. This was not a metaphor at all just the truth. The second more disturbing thought to him is that it feels really good to have Cuddy in his arms.

He takes a minute to admire her sleeping form. Something he would never do in the light of day. He is temporarily in awe of her creamy skin and disheveled hair. He takes in the way her lithe body wraps around his like it should be there, as if it fits.

He indulges himself for a moment until looking at Cuddy makes him feel much more than he is comfortable with feeling. The longer he looks the more freaked out he gets. The more beautiful she is the more restless he becomes. Soon the need to flee is so strong that he carefully slips out of her embrace.

Once he is sitting upright on her bed, Cuddy starts to snuggle into the empty space he left. The last thing he wants is for her to wake up. Therefore, he quickly places his pillow where he was and watches Cuddy nuzzle up to it hugging it tightly in her sleep. When he is completely off her bed, he looks back at her to make sure the movement has not woken her up. Her peaceful face gives him the answer he needs.

He has never been happier that someone was a heavy sleeper in his life. He makes his way around her room trying to be as soft on his feet as possible. He picks up his various items of clothing until he collects them all. Not wanting to chance being in her room any longer than necessary he takes his handful of clothes and hobbles out of her room.

He waits until he is in her living room before he does anything. He slips his boxers on before sitting down on the couch. Then, he grabs his pants and gets his vicodin out. He dry swallows a couple of pills before he begins the task of redressing himself. He places one article on at a time. He tries not to think about what he is doing, and what it will mean for them tomorrow. Soon he looks like the same person who had walked into her home hours ago although he feels irrevocably changed.

He grabs his cane and jacket and begins sneaking out of her living room. He slides open her front door and takes one last look around him before quietly closing the door behind him. House had made it out of there without having to face Cuddy at all. He wants to feel relieved but all he feels is the intense need to go home and drown himself in Glenlivet.

* * *

_  
Song Credit: Hurricane, Something Corporate _

_Next Up:_ Can Wilson help fix what House has already managed to screw up? (Insert something clever here) Review please.


	7. True Love Way

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews. I totally enjoy reading everyone's thoughts, hope you enjoy this....

**Chapter Seven: True Love Way**

_Push in and I pull it away  
Its the hard part but the true love way  
Till you want it like a wanted man  
With your smart mouth and your killer hand_

The sun is shining warmly against Cuddy's cheek. The tingling of the rays pouring from her window are helping her slowly cross the line between sleep and wakefulness. She can feel a smile stretching across her face, her cheeks almost aching as if she has slept in perpetual happiness. Her body is feeling wonderfully achy and very well used. The overall feeling is one she really would not mind having a whole lot more, like everyday if possible.

Being with House last night really exceeded any expectations she had secretly harbored. Age and injury had not slowed him down. If anything, it added another layer to their experience together. The fun she remembered having the first time with him so many years ago was still there in spades. Added to that had been a new intimacy that came with knowing someone for so many years. They might clash in some areas of life but their push and pull worked perfectly in the bedroom.

Cuddy reaches her arm over to the other side of the bed searching for the man occupying her thoughts. Cuddy is hoping it is early enough that she could sneak in that round two they had discussed last night. Hell, even if it is not early enough she might make an exception and come in a little late if it meant having House again.

Her hand hits nothing but cool sheets. Her arm bounces on the mattress because she expected to hit solid man. Immediately, any hint of sleepiness is gone and Cuddy's eyes spring open. She quickly rolls over and sees she is alone in her bed. She sits up and begins to eye the rest of the room. There is no House in sight. She begins to take a closer look around. She realizes not only is he not there but neither are any of his clothes.

It is quickly dawning on her that he could very well be long gone. The scenario is one she knows she should have expected. However, the thought of him ditching out on her is leaving her instantly enraged. Some hopeful part of her brain is telling her not to plan his murder just yet. He could be in the bathroom, or snooping through her home, or rummaging through her refrigerator, or anywhere but gone without even saying goodbye.

She looks at her clock seeing that it is barely after six am. She knows the odds of House being up and about at this time in the morning are slim to none. It does not stop her from getting out of her bed, shrugging her robe on, and beginning her search. She makes quick work of looking around her place before coming to the obvious conclusion that House is not there, nor has he left any explanation for his departure.

"That stupid son of a bitch," Cuddy declares loudly. Her words echo throughout her Houseless home.

Cuddy is livid. She cannot believe he left and did not even have the common decency to say something to her before making his hasty exit. He could not rise to the occasion for once in his life and be a decent human being. No, House has to be his schmucky self and sneak out in the middle of the night. Cuddy figures that at the very least she deserves a lame explanation as to why he had to run off. She knew that platitudes were not exactly House's style but anything would be better than her current nightmare of a morning.

Knowing House, she figures when they do see each other he will try to play off last night as if it meant nothing to him. She can picture him making the whole thing into some kind of glorified booty call. He will make some lude jokes about her and pretend everything is normal. Well screw him and screw that.

Cuddy cannot believe after everything she said to him last night in her office and at her home that this is how things are going down. After only one night together, he is pulling this crap. Sure, logically she expected him eventually to do something to screw this up but she had not counted on it being so damn soon. She had foolishly thought last night was the start of something not the end of it.

She stomps towards her bathroom knowing she has to get ready for the day regardless of her personal let downs. After all, she has a hospital to run. She laments the fact that the hospital unfortunately happens to employ the world's stupidest limping escape artist. She makes it to the bathroom angrily twisting the knobs of her shower putting the heat as high as it will go. She makes quick work of shedding her robe and stepping into the steaming spray.

As the hot water burns her skin, her mind begins coming up with plausible ways to murder House. In her perfect world, it would be something ironic. She would inject him with some incurable disease, or poison, or something that only he could figure out how to cure. However, since House would be the one dying his mind would be incapacitated and he would not be able to work it out in time. The ultimate revenge his own death being the one mystery he was incapable of solving. Something like that would serve him right.

Actually, in Cuddy's perfect world, her and House would still be in bed. His limbs would be tangling in her sheets making her bed smell spicy and wonderful and uniquely like him. He would be kissing her awake and making inappropriate comments about her ass gearing up for a little morning romp. The thought slips past her brain before she can stop it. She refuses to be anything but angry with him and quickly refocuses her mind before any other emotion can sneak its way in.

She concedes that practically she is not capable of murder but she _can_ make what is left of House's life his own _Dante's Inferno_. She decides that from now on she will take extra pleasure in doing just that. She begins thinking of various methods of torturing him. By the end of her shower, her list includes giving him ridiculous amounts of clinic duty (_a given_), cutting his team (_she never did like Thirteen_), making Foreman his boss again, removing the televisions completely from all coma patients rooms, and moving his office to the dreaded 12th floor. Cuddy is confident with some more time and thought she can come up with some even better ones.

* * *

House lays on his eames chair in his office staring into space. His mind completely focused on the night before. He is thinking how stupid it was for him to sneak out of Cuddy's last night. He has always known he is self-destructive but this time had to be some kind of record for him. It took him only one night to doom himself to never sexing Cuddy up again. He had finally gotten something he actually wanted and it had been momentarily fantastic. House noted that at the time Cuddy seemed more than willing to make it a reoccurring thing. He is sure that his little Houdini impression pretty much ruined any chances of a repeat performance.

House had forgotten how much better sex is when you actually felt something for the other person involved. Cuddy reminded him last night that sex could be about more than a warm body and getting your rocks off. How great it can be when there were no perimeters set, no time limit, and no money on the nightstand.

Cuddy really had laid it all out there for him on a silver platter. All he had to do to keep it was stay in the same spot. Literally, all he had to do was stay still. Yet, he could not even manage that much. At the time, it seemed like the right move but in the light of day, he knew he was an idiot.

House looks up to see Wilson's cheerful face heading towards his office. He looks at the clock seeing it is after 11 am and is surprised Wilson had not been in earlier to grill him. He braces himself for the third degree as Wilson makes his way inside the door.

"So what happened last night?" Wilson asks eagerly. "You go see Cuddy?"

"Nothing and no I didn't." House returns. He cannot help the tiny smirk on his face thinking about the good part of his night.

"Liar, you did see Cuddy." Wilson counters. "It's written all over your face."

"Fine, I concede I saw _a lot_ of Cuddy last night." House lecherously returns.

House figures Wilson knows enough that he will put it together anyway. He decides playing it off as if it is not big deal is his best option. In addition, a small part of House wants to talk about what happened and knows Wilson is his only viable choice.

"You saw a lot of Cuddy? You had sex?!" Wilson puts together the not so subtle clues.

"Seriously, your interest level in Cuddy and my sex life is really starting to creep me out. I am not sure which one of us you love more. I hope it's me, Jimmy! I know she has an awe-inspiring body but remember bro's before hoes!"

"I didn't hear a denial in there anywhere. You look like someone who just got laid and didn't have to pay for it." Wilson remains on track.

"What do you want me to say? What will make you leave my office?" House questions playing annoyed.

"Why are you always so weird about this? If it were any other girl, you would be telling me all sorts of details I never wanted to hear. But with Cuddy, you actually care about her and that would be like admitting weakness to me…"

House cuts Wilson off before he can continue his tirade, "Fine you want details, the things that woman can do with her hips alone. I think the yoga she does makes her extra limber. There is this little swivel thing she did on my….."

"I beg you not to finish that sentence. I still have to see Cuddy in everyday life. I am happy for you, House. This is a good thing, a really good thing. So what are you two like together now?" Wilson says sincerely happy for his friend.

House looks away guiltily as the other part of his night comes crashing back to the forefront of his mind, "Not exactly."

"What did you do?" Wilson angrily inquires.

"Nothing! Why do you always think I did something? As my best friend, aren't you supposed to give me the benefit of the doubt?"

"When have you ever deserved the benefit of the doubt? You are you so of course you did something, just spit it out so I can assess the damages."

"It's not a big deal." House tries.

"What is it?" Wilson remains stern.

"I sort of left in the middle of the night," House finally admits. "I haven't actually seen her since. You know I have always been a love 'em and leave 'em kind of man."

"No, actually you aren't but you have always been an idiot. Just when I think you can not possibly be more emotionally retarded you prove me wrong." Wilson grumbles with a disapproving shake of his head. "I am going to make a leap here and guess Cuddy is probably not happy. Seriously House, you need to make this right."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? Since when do I ever make things right, see already this whole situation is expecting way too much of me."

"A _see you soon_ or _it was fun _is too much work after all you two shared last night," Wilson incredulously asks.

"All we shared? Seriously, they should revoke your genitals," House quips.

"You can be a man and still be a decent person. I know that is too much to ask of you. I mean for you I am just saying do the bare bone minimum for a girl. Especially when the girl in question is Cuddy who you do actually like and who also happens to have the power to fire you." Wilson declares.

"She isn't going to fire me just because I left after we bumped uglies. At worst, she will just try to make my life a living hell. It is much more her style. Besides, what do you want me to do about it now? What is done is done. Unless, you have been working with Doc and McFly on a new Delorian so we can go back to the future."

"What you should do is what I have been telling you to do for months. Ask Cuddy out on a date. That should undo some of the damage." Wilson replies.

"Seriously? You do know you are talking to me right now, right? You sincerely think me taking Cuddy on a date is viable option? Wasn't it just last night you were telling me Cuddy and I were not cut out for the traditional mating crap?"

"No seriously, you should probably ignore her for the rest of your life and look for a new job. Yes, of course I am serious. One date is not going to kill you nor does it mean you two will ever be normal. Take it from a man who knows, woman do not like it when you run off after sex. Once I was with that nurse from ICU Lauren, and I got a page. She was asleep and I did not want to wake her so I did not think much about it. I just left. The next time I saw her she threw a shoe at my head. A high heeled almost punctured my eyeball, shoe. The incident taught me a valuable lesson."

"Don't have sex with crazy shoe throwing bitches?" House asks.

"House..." Wilson says his name likes it a warning. "Ask her out!"

"I don't do dates, especially with evil administrators."

"No, you just hop in the sack with them. I mean come on, House. You went on date with Cameron. Moreover, Cuddy's expectations will not be that high, she knows you. Any effort will be more than enough I am guessing. The invitation alone should melt the ice. Think about it this way, if this works it means more sex and free sex at that. That is two of your favorite things sex and not spending your money..." Wilson responds trying to appeal to House like the twelve year old, he knows he is.

"She does know me and I do like free sex but going on a date costs money. So why not just get a hooker, less yap more tap tap." House counters.

"I will give you my credit card, if it means you will do this." Wilson offers hoping that for once his friend will make the right choice.

"Can I use your credit card for hookers instead?"

"No. House, do you remember when we didn't talk?" Wilson begins.

"Yes, but you knew that so obviously this is going somewhere. I am guessing it is nothing I want to hear," House grumbles.

"Was that fun for you?"

"No and again you knew that too. You should probably stop with this faulty analogy right now." House warns.

"Okay so now imagine that you are you and I am Cuddy and you two no longer speak." Wilson continues with his worst-case scenario.

"She is my boss she has to speak to me, plus these situations are not remotely similar."

"Yeah, they are. I can think of only two people who willingly stand you. She is one and I am the other. You can say Cuddy does it because of what you do for this hospital but we both know you are more trouble than you are worth for this place. You can deny she matters to you but we both know she does. So stop being a jackass and go fix this before you completely screw it up. That is if you haven't already by your hit and run." Wilson returns as he hands House his credit card.

"I am only doing this for sex and because you are paying." House reluctantly responds as he snatches the card from Wilson's hand.

"Of course you are." Wilson condescendingly replies.

"Don't patronize me!" House retorts.

"You've got it bad." Wilson cannot help but needle him a little bit. He knows that House even considering something he has suggested is a huge step.

"If we are going to continue to be friends you can never say lame crap like that to me ever again." House declares.

House cannot believe he is really thinking about taking Wilson's advice. However, what he is saying does make a degree of sense. He reluctantly admits that Cuddy deserves at least a little effort on his part.

Wilson exits House's office oddly hopeful that when he gets his next months credit card statement there will not be any charges to any high priced call girl operations.

* * *

House makes it all the way to Cuddy's office door. He watches her through the glass as she busily works on paperwork with no idea he is outside. He almost turns around and walks away at the sight of her. He hears a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Wilson calling him a chicken. It is then that he grabs the door handle pushing his way inside her office. He even tries to make his normal dramatic entrance striving for some normalcy. He is gripping a file folder tightly in his hand. House knows he needs some kind of pretense for being in her office so she will not immediately kick him out on sight.

Cuddy looks up from her desk sees House in front of her and scowls. She actually makes a sound that sounds a little like a growl. As soon as House looks at Cuddy's fuming face, he realizes he should probably have thought out exactly what he was going to say before coming into the lions den.

"What do you want?" Cuddy inquires coolly.

"I need you to sign off on this. It's just some budget stuff." House mumbles pushing a file at Cuddy.

Cuddy gets up and grabs the file roughly from House's hand.

"Budget stuff, really? You do know I am going to read whatever this is before I sign it. Oh by the way before I look at this, I am just curious if I turn around to get a pen will you disappear before I have a chance to turn back." Cuddy sardonically asks.

"Real subtle Cuddy," House returns with a squint of his eyes.

"Yeah about as subtle as the giant empty bed I woke up to this morning." Cuddy says her tone rising with each word.

Cuddy instinctually steps closer to House so they are now toe-to-toe with each other.

"You said no expectations," House's tone rises to meet hers. He quickly forgets his original intentions for being there with her. "Your ice queen routine makes me think that was a crock of shit."

"I didn't have expectations. That is the problem. If I had expectations, I would have expected your asshole behavior. You could have left a damn note or something." Cuddy bellows.

"We work in the same place its not as if we were never going to see each other again. Sorry I didn't take the morning to catch up on my correspondences." House yells back.

"You know what, forget it. I will sign this and then you can get the hell out of my office. We can pretend that none of this ever happened. Clearly, it will not be happening again. I do not know what possessed me, God I feel like I need to go back home and take a second _Silkwood_ shower."

Cuddy heatedly opens the file folder and looks down inside of it.

"There is nothing inside of this folder, House. What in the hell are you doing? Trying to gauge how pissed I am after your vanishing act? Do you have your answer yet? You could not just leave me alone and let me get over it! No, you have to come to my office and rub my face in the fact that you only care about yourself. Why the hell are you even here in the first place, you stupid insensitive prick!" Cuddy screams her face red with anger.

"I came here to ask you to dinner tonight but I am guessing by your howler monkey impression that was a mistake." House shouts back the truth flying out of him before he could form a plausible lie.

"Wait what? You want to go dinner?" Cuddy asks the anger subsiding immeasurably as his words sink in.

"I know listing to Wilson is always a mistake and yet I continue to do it!" House yells.

"Like a date?" Cuddy inquires desperately needing the clarification.

"If that is what the kids are calling it these days. I mean I eat... You eat… I mean you do still eat, right? Sometimes with your body I wonder if you aren't on the Japanese porn star diet." House cannot bring himself to say the actual words.

"Yes." Cuddy instinctually replies.

"Yes, you eat or yes…" House trails off.

"Yes I eat and yes to the other thing," Cuddy quickly clarifies.

Cuddy never thought in a million years that House would ever ask her out. Have sex with her, yes. Leave without telling her, yes. Ask her out on a real date, no. He just does not seem like the dating type. His simple request is enough to get Cuddy to mostly forgive him for this morning. She had told him last night she knew that he was horrible at this interpersonal stuff. The fact that he was actually making an effort for her, she knew was a big deal.

"Wait what? Did you just say yes? A second ago you looked like you were going to shank me."

"Well, that is when I thought…. Never mind what I thought. I said yes. You should be happy. So where are we going? What time do you want to pick me up?"

"Damn you are bossy. What if I changed my mind?" House wonders.

"Well change it back, House." Cuddy utters defiantly. There is no way she is letting him out of this now. He owes her.

Cuddy gets a sudden flash of everything that could go wrong with being out with House in a public arena. She is imagining loud inappropriate comments about her body and House trying to fit in somewhere he does not belong. This would make him extra cranky and would increase the likelihood of him screwing things up further out of spite. She appreciates his attempt but thinks she has a better idea.

"Actually let's stay in. I will cook." Cuddy assertively gives her counter offer.

"Cuddy, who exactly do you think you are talking to here? In this particular situation, you are not my boss. You do not get to tell me what to do. Hell even in situations where you are my boss do I ever just go along with your orders. I don't think so."

"So are you saying you don't want to come over?" Cuddy questions her tone slightly sultry.

"I am saying I would like my balls back, succubus." House dramatically states.

"Fine, if you want to go out, we will go out. If you still want to that is of course," Cuddy relents.

"Nah, you will cook for me." House grins, "And you will like it."

"Then what the hell was that balls back business?" Cuddy asks with a tone of annoyance.

"Just letting you know who is really in charge. See you at seven."

Before Cuddy can get a word in, House's grabs her by the waist and pulls her towards him leaving no space between their bodies. In a flash, his lips are firmly on hers, her mouth opening a little in surprise. House ruthlessly takes the opportunity in front of him and darts his tongue into her mouth. Cuddy cannot help but respond and her tongue seeks his out. Soon they are giving quite a show to anyone who might happen to walk past her office door. House is still in complete control of the situation and backs away from their embrace.

"I like Italian food and for desert I expect that second go around you sexy wench." House breathes giving Cuddy a small tap on her ass before backing away from her completely.

Cuddy stares at House still in a daze from their kiss and watches him walk out the door. It is not until he is completely out of her office that she regains her ability to speak.

"What the hell was that? Did I just let him spank me?" Cuddy bewilderingly questions into her now empty office.

* * *

_Song Credit: True Love Way, Kings of Leon_

_Next Up: _It is dinnertime! Reviews make me happy, and happy people post the next chapter faster, true story.


	8. Hands Open

**A/N: **This chapter is large and in charge. So, I hope you enjoy this super sized addition. Should I warn you when there is smut? I guess I just did…

**Chapter Eight: Hands Open**

_Why would I sabotage  
the best thing that I have  
Well, it makes it easier to know  
exactly what I want with my...  
Hands open and my eyes open  
I just keep hoping  
that your heart opens_

"House, you showed up. Basically on time and everything, impressive." Cuddy states as she pulls open her front door letting House slip inside.

House instantly notices her surprised tone. "You were expecting me not to show."

"I think I learned my lesson on expectations."

"Fair enough," House shrugs wanting to drop the subject as fast as possible.

"You look nice." Cuddy states after a beat, wanting to change the subject just as badly.

House is wearing a simple pair of black slacks and button down blue shirt that Cuddy has always loved on him. The color makes his amazing cerulean eyes even more striking. She remembers making it known a few years back that she liked the shirt. She wonders if that is why he selected it for this particular occasion. She almost says as much, but knows that with House bringing something like that up would only embarrass him. Cuddy learned long ago that an embarrassed House is a dangerous House.

"Did Wilson help dress you?"

"Of course, Tim Gunn has nothing on Wilson. Whether it be his fashion sense or sleeping with dudes." House retorts before adding more seriously, "I am capable of dressing myself, Cuddy."

"Sure you are in raggedy T-shirts, jeans, and random sport coats."

"Next time I will just show up naked." House laments while piercingly looking into Cuddy's eyes to up the suggestiveness of his line.

"That has definite potential." Cuddy laughs getting a little lost in his gaze before averting her eyes. "Why don't you go ahead and sit down at the table. The food is almost ready. I was going to make Mexican food because taking orders isn't really my thing. However, for some reason when I got in the kitchen ravioli and garlic bread just appeared out of nowhere."

"I am surprised you cook." House notes suspiciously. "You sure this isn't something you picked up from _El Florino_ on your way home hence it appearing out of nowhere."

"I made it." Cuddy defensively answers. "Why is that so surprising?"

"You have always seemed to me to be more like more of one of those new wave feminists. You know the ones who claim they can't even boil water, and whose local delivery service knows their order by heart."

"You forget I grew up with a Jewish mother. Food is a big thing with us Jews. From about age six on my mom made me watch her cook every meal, while teaching me a wide variety of dishes. It was burned into my brain that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, preferably a Jewish man with Esquire or M.D. after his last name." Cuddy laughs.

"So I am guessing becoming a Jewish doctor instead…" House begins.

"Was still a mitzvah in mom's eyes…" Cuddy cuts him off to answer. "What better place to meet a fellow Jew doctor than at med school. It wasn't until I graduated boyfriendless and on a tear to make a name for myself that mom started to see the flaw in her dreams for me."

"Sorry, I could pretend I heard a word of what you just said but when you talk it makes your funbags jiggle and the motion hypnotized me." House returns leering down at her mostly exposed chest.

Cuddy adjusts her dress as House makes his lecherous comment. She is wearing a simple cotton dress. It is a spaghetti strapped knee length frock with a black and white print. Like every wardrobe choice she makes, it is tight in all the right places hugging her curves. Although the skirt is a little flowier than House likes, preferring her work outfits that always leave little to the imagination on top and bottom.

"You are such an ass. Go sit down. Make yourself useful and pour us some wine." Cuddy says with a wave of her hands before retreating into the kitchen.

House sees the bottle of Shiraz on the table and pours them both large glasses of the red liquid before sitting down. As he waits for Cuddy's return, he begins really taking in his surroundings. Suddenly, he is noting everything with a growing suspicion. Cuddy brought them wine, they are sitting at her formal dining table, and she was blabbing something about food being the way to a man's heart. All of it begins to weigh heavily on House's mind. The whole scene in front of him screams domesticity, which is so not his thing.

Just what exactly is Cuddy expecting from him with all of this? The scene is just too cozy. How many nights like this before Cuddy wants him to join her book club, or some other horrible feminine thing. An image pops in his head of Cuddy dragging him around on a dog leash him following her like a sad little puppy.

This is exactly why he never gets involved in things of this nature, the dreaded _R_ word, _Relationships_. Stacy had been his only lasting one and look how that had turned out. He saw it all the time, it starts with one compromise to please her and suddenly you are picking up tampons from the drug store wondering exactly when your testicles shriveled up and died.

Before he can ponder his new scary thoughts further, Cuddy comes back out with two plates filled with pasta and bread. House looks up at her curiously, as she places one in front of him. She places her plate down and sits next to him.

"Eat up, and then you can tell me if you still believe I didn't make it myself."

"Yep." is all House can manage still miles away. He carelessly puts a forkful of ravioli in his mouth not even really tasting it.

"You like?" Cuddy asks with a slight tone of eagerness in her voice.

"Sure." House noncommittally replies.

She watches him curiously, as he goes through the motions of eating what is in front of him. Cuddy senses something is off with him but she shrugs it off as nerves on his part. He must be trying to act like a normal human being, which she knows is more effort for him than it is for most.

For a few short minutes, the light clanging of their forks and knives are the only sounds in the room. Cuddy starts to become more worried about House's lack of chatter. Usually she cannot pay him to shut up but now he is being suspiciously silent. Cuddy decides that maybe bringing up a nice neutral topic will bring him out of whatever funk he seems to be going through.

"So how is your new patient doing? The one with the blueish skin tone, it seems like an interesting case. I saw the guy he looked like a human version of papa smurf." Cuddy starts conversationally.

"I just don't think this is going to work." House states rather dramatically throwing his fork onto his plate.

"What?" Cuddy asks completely confused by his words and tone.

"You want me to be this guy. This lets eat dinner at the dinner table, _'how was your day at the office, honey'_ pussy whipped man. Soon you will be hinting about a great B & B you heard of upstate and expecting me to attend fundraisers as your arm candy. It seems like some hormone releases in a chick after you sleep with her. All of a sudden, they think of you as some fixer upper shack that with a few feminine touches can become the house of their dreams. No fucking thank you, Cuddy."

"You got all this from what? This is our first date, which by the way was your idea. The only things I have done are make the pasta you asked me to make, and ask you how your patient is doing. You have been here like fifteen minutes tops." Cuddy replies incredulously.

"It's more than that. It is in your tone; it is your body language. It is the way you are dressed like a housewife from the fifties. You are wearing pearls for God sakes. Reading people is kind of my thing. You seem practically giddy at some softer edited for television version of House, and it isn't happening sister." House bellows.

"I couldn't just be happy because I got laid last night? It has to be because I am trying to make you into what a Stepford boyfriend, is that what you think?" Cuddy asks incredulously. She is slowly piecing together what is going through House's mind.

"BOYFRIEND? This is exactly what I am talking about! One night of hot loving and you are throwing words around like boyfriend. You know it's been real Cuddy but I am going to go ahead and get the hell out of here." House stands up as he speaks.

"SIT DOWN. It seems like practically everyday I learn a new facet to your insanity. You are so far off from what my expectations are that we are practically on two different planets." Cuddy sternly responds.

"See now you are ordering me around and having those dreaded expectations again." House spouts, as he remains standing.

"You are being an idiot. I think I am being amazingly cool considering you are the one who ditched out on me last night. Yet, I agreed to do this, I even made food and this is how you act? You know what sit, stand, leave… I do not care. Do whatever the hell you want. If you really want to do something novel you could try listening to what I am trying to say instead of jumping to crazy conclusions."

"I am an idiot?" House disbelievingly inquires.

"Yes." Cuddy confirms with a shake of her head.

"I am an idiot. Okay that is rich. Fine I will humor you." House sarcastically states as he sits back in his chair. "This ought to be good. Go ahead and try to explain to me how all your actions are really something else. I am all ears."

House places his elbows on the table putting his hands on his face staring up at her in an exaggerated listening pose.

"I am going to go ahead and add dickhead to the list of adjectives to describe you right behind idiot."

"Oh I have a few choice adjectives to describe you as well, Cuddy…"

Cuddy interrupts him before he can start his list, "I thought you said you would listen to me."

"Everybody lies."

"Yeah House I get it! We all get it by now. God, come up with a new line already." In her best manly House impression she continues, "_Everybody lies. Everyone is in it for themselves. Cuddy is being nice to me it must mean she is black widow just waiting to catch me in her evil web of domesticity._"

"That sounds about right." House confirms.

"Shut up," Cuddy quickly returns. Before House can say anything else, she starts making her original point in the calmest manner she can muster. "Seeing where this is going does not have to be a huge thing. I would never want you to feel like whatever this is, is weighing you down or causing you to lose some part of you. I do not expect you to change. I would have to be loony bin crazy to expect you of all people to change. Although, I might be a little nuts to even bother saying this after your behavior. I am fully aware of what I am getting involved with by starting anything with you. I don't think all of sudden you are going to be this guy who gets me flowers, or goes to dinner parties with me. I want you to be your annoying, genius, antisocial self. Bizarrely enough I like that guy! Just like I am sure you don't expect me to start liking foxy boxing, or drink scotch, or go with you to strip clubs or whatever the hell else you like to do."

"You say that Cuddy, but I mean come on I have been around you for years. It seems like you have been searching high and low for flowers and dinner party guy and that isn't me." House seriously notes, then to lighten it up a bit, he adds, "And what exactly is wrong with liking foxy boxing?"

"Did any of that even remotely work out for me? No, it did not because the reality is that is not what I really want. It really does not have to be so complicated. I like you, you like me, but we both are pretty accustom to our own lives. So why not just be with each other when it works for the both of us. If I am too busy, you are wrapped up in case, you just want to be alone, or I do, then okay no hard feelings. On the other hand, if a night comes that we both want it we can I do not know hang out, eat, watch a movie, do other things. No labels necessary."

House is amazed that her argument sounds so reasonable. What she just proposed is exactly what he would want out of something with her. It is odd for House to hear her say that is what she wants as well. The thought honestly never occurred to him. Now he is left wondering what kind of sad excuse of a man he is if Cuddy can maintain her cool and he is the one freaking out about '_where this is going'_? House hopes his response will shift the conversation into a bit more pleasant direction.

"By other things do you mean like go belly-to-belly? Knock boots? Carnal gymnastics? Hot monkey sex?"

"Yes, House. Hot monkey sex. Seriously, do you see my point? I have never been good at conventional relationships and you are the epitome of unconventional so I think it would be best to work with that, instead of both of us trying to be things we are not. If you really think I am some desperate woman trying to make you into something you will never be, then you should leave right now. "

"So you think we are in a relationship?" House responds mostly joking but narrowing his eyes slightly at her.

"That is all you got out of everything I just said? Sometimes I just want to smack you," Cuddy replies frustrated. At the same time, her tone conveys acceptance not really expecting anything else from the man.

"Save the smacking for the bedroom, Cuddy." House winks. His momentary freak out weakening as they get back to the banter he enjoys so much.

"So I take it that is your way of saying you are staying? Oh and you really think after your little display you are getting anywhere near my bedroom?"

"Oh come on Cuddy, you can't resist me. I mean I am awesome. Not to mention I am first class sexual god. I believe your words last night sum it up nicely_. (In his girliest tone_) _OHHHHHHHHHHHH House, Right there_!" House gives his best puppy dog eyes as he makes his case.

Cuddy cannot help but laugh at his antics, "and so modest, you are like Gandhi with a limp."

Cuddy briefly wonders what it is about House that makes her want to strangle him and at the same time amuses her to no end.

"I heard no denial in there because you know there ain't no lover like the one you got, no no they don't come better." House replies almost singing.

"Isn't that supposed to be ain't no woman like that one I've got? In that case, yes I agree with you one hundred percent. You are currently are a few short surgeries away from being a total woman." Cuddy wisecracks.

"Oh burn." House returns. "I guess that makes the score Cuddy, one, House, ten million."

"Seriously House, this is the last heart-to-heart I am having with you. From now on, it is up to you. You can decide to be alone, miserable, and paying for it. Alternatively, you can be happy, extremely sexually satisfied, and with a couple extra bucks in your pocket. It doesn't seem like a hard choice but I know how much you enjoy your misery."

"You think you make me happy and sexually satisfied?" House inquires.

"Oh my god I am going to kill you." Cuddy returns losing all patience with the man.

"You do." House very quietly admits as she speaks.

"Wait, what?" Cuddy automatically asks even though she clearly heard his words.

"I am not going to repeat it. So either you heard me or you didn't." House grumbles already regretting letting the truth slip.

"I heard you. I just cannot believe that came out of your mouth. Something sweet coming from you, it's a little shocking."

"I take it back. I thought it was you but turns out it was just gas."

House watches as Cuddy leaves her chair and makes her way over to him. She is touched by his admission, needing to be closer to him. She is undaunted by his weak attempt at trying to take it back, unwilling to let him ruin the moment. House turns his chair away from the table as she approaches him with determination in her glittering eyes.

"To quote I believe it was you, '_no takesies backsies'_. I make you happy it's out there, sorry bucko." Cuddy says with a sultry tone.

As she speaks, Cuddy places her legs on either side of House's chair slowly lowering down on to his lap. She places her lips over his. Her kiss is light at first a gentle exploration of his mouth, a thank you for saying so much with so few words. House wants more and ups the ante slanting his head and letting his tongue probe her mouth. She readily accepts, her tongue playing with his as her arms wrap tightly around his neck pulling him closer to her.

"Using your feminine wiles against me how clichéd." House pulls back slightly when breathing becomes necessary.

"That's me. I use every gun in my arsenal." Cuddy saucily returns before diving back to his mouth.

"I got a gun for you alright." House says between their increasing kisses. He bucks his growing erection up into her torso further proving his point.

"That was super cheesy, but it's working for me." Cuddy breathes while grinding into his lap.

"I always knew you were an easy lay." He quips before placing another firm kiss on her mouth.

'Right, because two times in over twenty years screams I am easy." Cuddy pulls back somewhat to say.

"All I got from what you just said was blah, blah, blah screams I am easy. Besides I think we are about to make it three times." House suggestively returns.

House moves away from her mouth and begins giving attention to her long neck. He is gently kissing and sucking the flesh loving the soft moans it elicits from Cuddy.

"So what will it be House want that couple extra bucks in your pocket?" Cuddy asks seductively, while subtlety moving her hips over him.

Cuddy needs some kind of confirmation that if she lets this continue House will not freak out again. She wants to know when she wakes up tomorrow he will still be in her bed.

"My loaded gun isn't enough of an answer?" House questions, when he sees the less than pleased look on Cuddy's face he adds, "Plus, I do love having extra money for the essentials like porn and video games."

Cuddy is looking for something a little more tangible but knows not to push it with him.

"Ah fuck it, it works for me," Cuddy utters losing herself in the feelings he is evoking within her.

"That's good because I am fully loaded." House says before sucking on the sensitive skin behind her ear.

"I think the gun analogy has worn out its welcome," Cuddy laughs before taking her hand and placing it underneath House's chin. She brings his lips away from her neck and back to her waiting mouth. Cuddy indulges herself in House's lips for a few minutes before she pulls back.

"Let's take this to my bedroom." Cuddy breathes as House once again begins feasting on her neck slowly trailing down towards her chest.

House takes his hands and deftly unzips the back of her dress just enough to loosen the straps. He uses the pads of his fingertips gently pushing down the straps of her dress, placing open mouth kisses along her collarbone tracing with his mouth where his hands have just been.

"Too far away," House mumbles against her skin. He drags her dress down further exposing her breasts to him. "God Cuddy, you never wear a bra, do you? I like it."

"Not with a dress like this," She sighs as Houses lips begin placing tiny kisses along her ample chest.

"Seriously House, bedroom," Cuddy manages to say before she can no longer hold back her moan of pleasure as House lightly flicks one her nipples with his tongue. House says nothing instead choosing to put his mouth more fully over her breast sucking and softly nipping at the flesh. He is immensely enjoying the little whimpers it's eliciting from Cuddy.

After paying the same attention to her other breast House finally responds, "Seriously Cuddy, the bedroom is too far away."

"I don't care how impatient you are. I am not doing it on my dining room chair or the table," Cuddy weakly protests. "I eat here."

"Fine," House grumbles before abruptly standing up.

Cuddy is completely unprepared for the motion and stumbles back but manages to catch herself before landing completely on her ass.

She looks at House shocked, "So what you don't get your way and we aren't doing it at all?"

"No," House responds grabbing her tightly around the waist pulling her against his chest. "This is one area of life I can live with a compromise. I assume you have no such issues with me ravaging you on your couch?"

"None that I can think of," Cuddy returns as she gets on board with House's idea once again seeking out his mouth.

House begins backing them both towards her living room. Cuddy takes the opportunity to do a little undressing of her own. She deftly begins to unbutton House's shirt. Kissing and nipping at his muscles as she exposes more and more of his chest. Soon they have reached their destination and Cuddy shoves House's shirt off his shoulders before beginning work on his pants. She watches happily, as they fall to the floor and House steps out of them completely. House returns the favor by unzipping her dress the rest of the way letting the material pool at her feet.

"You are wearing underwear. I have to say I am little disappointed." House says while drinking in the sight of her only in her panties. The novelty of Cuddy actually allowing him to see her naked has not worn off at all for him.

"I am wearing a dress. I am not pulling a Britney." Cuddy says eyes dancing at House, daring him to say more.

"I suppose I can work with this," House jokes as he lightly strokes the tiny black piece of silk covering her.

House begins sucking on the flesh of her neck. He takes his fingers and gently plays with the thin straps of her thong. He moves them slightly up and down her hips never letting them go too far down.

"Oh just take them off already." Cuddy finally groans desperately needing more contact than the teasing movements House is providing.

"Now who is impatient?" House returns before he slides her thong fully down her hips.

"Your turn," Cuddy saucily responds before tugging his boxers down in one quick motion.

House expertly lowers them both down to the couch his large body covering her petite frame. Her breasts smash against his chest, his erection pressing against her belly. House mouth settles on hers, their lips molding easily to each other. House's tongue is dancing in Cuddy's mouth advancing and retreating driving her wonderfully insane. Soon her need to have him inside her is overwhelming. The newness of being able to do this with him making her impatient.

"Fuck me." She breathes when he finally releases her lips, "Now."

"I love the dirty talk, but I thought you said round two would consist of more foreplay." House whispers licking at Cuddy's ear.

"The night is still young." Cuddy breathes back pushing her hands between their bodies. She takes her nails and begins lightly scraping them up and down his shaft, "You know my standards are pretty high but show me a good time now and later I will show you that my mouth is good at so much more then yelling at you to do your clinic hours."

House moans at Cuddy's attention unable to speak. She takes control of the situation grabbing him fully and placing his erection snugly between her thighs.

Finally he manages a jumbled, "I will be taking you up on that."

Without further ado, he pushes his way inside her. His infiltration inside her body is quick and forceful not easing his way into her at all. Cuddy cries out, her back arching, her nails digging into his back as the sensations of his deep penetration hit her.

"God House a little rough." Cuddy moans enjoying the way he is in her to the hilt.

"You said now, I took you seriously." House growls back as he begins leisurely pumping inside her body.

"Good to know there is one area in our lives where you actually listen to me." She gasps as his pace increases.

Cuddy wraps her legs around House's hips. She begins thrusting back as he retreats creating an astonishing rhythm between the two of them. There is no more need for words as they both let themselves be flooded with sensation, drinking in the intimacy of the moment. Soon Cuddy legs hitch higher and higher up House's waist her inner muscles contracting wonderfully around him as she moves. Soon House can do nothing but let himself go. The feeling of Cuddy milking him with her body is too much for him to handle. He grunts almost unintelligibly as his orgasm rushes over him without any real control on his part. Luckily, House's hard release is just what Cuddy needs to put her over the edge.

"House," Cuddy cries out as she lets her orgasm wash over her reveling in the sensations shooting throughout her body as she scratches at his back.

House's sags down on top of her. His face buries into her shoulder. Cuddy wonders if it is natural to love the feel of his weight of him on top of her as much as she does. She wonders if it is natural to love the complicated man on top of her as much as she does.

"Was that up to your high standards?" House pants as he lifts his head up to look her in the eyes.

"Hmm… Maybe, I guess you will just have to stick around and find out." Cuddy laughs reaching up and giving him a small kiss on the side of his mouth.

"You're bruising my precious ego. You are supposed to say how incredible I am, you know the truth." House utters mock hurt.

"Your ego is big enough it can take a few bumps and bruises." Cuddy banters.

"Your pillow talk is leaving a lot to be desired." House grumps.

Cuddy giggles before gently pushing at his chest, "Get up."

"Seriously, what's next, _you don't have to go home but you can't stay here."_ House responds as he stands up.

Cuddy follows him up before responding, "Nah, I told you to stick around. I just thought dinner ended rather abruptly and if I am still hungry, Greg '_The bottomless pit'_ House must be starving. So, I thought I would go heat up our food."

House grabs his boxers slipping them on before plopping back on to the sofa. The angle gives him a fantastic view of Cuddy's bare ass as she bends over and grabs his shirt. Cuddy can feel his eyes on her and smiles widely at his admiration.

"You are the perfect woman. Hot sex immediately followed by hot food. Who could ask for anything more? Well accept of course for a hot threesome with food incorporated into it. Hot food burns though so I find it best to stick with desert toppings the colder the better."

Cuddy turns around to face House buttoning a few random buttons on his shirt leaving plenty of skin exposed for his viewing pleasure.

"I always knew you liked Wilson as more than a friend." Cuddy returns turning his words around on him.

"I meant a threesome with a chick. Preferably, Angelina Jolie but since the odds of running into her in Jersey are pretty slim any hot young thing will do. Thirteen might work she is local and everyone knows she kisses girls and she likes it."

"If you want your reward for showing me a good time you will think long and hard about what you say next." Cuddy warns. She knows he is joking around but it does not stop a tiny pang of jealousy that shoots through her at the thought of House being with anyone other than her.

"Oh come on Cuddy, you know your sexy ass will always be number one on my hospital doability list. No need to be jealous, your bazookas alone put you cups above the rest."

Cuddy laughs hardily shaking her head while turning around and heading out of the living room.

"You look good in my shirt." House calls out to her, appreciating her long creamy legs as she walks away from him.

Cuddy cannot help the giant smile that spreads over her face at House's simple compliment.

Not wanting to see what an effect he has on her she does not turn around when she replies, "Good boy, for once you say the right thing."

* * *

_Song Credit: Hands Open, Snow Patrol_

_Next Up:_ House stops freaking out just in time for Cuddy to start. Those crazy kids…The reviews for the last chapter were amazing! Please, keep it up! I am not the most motivated person and the positive feedback helps tremendously.


	9. Call It Off

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews...

**Chapter Nine: Call It Off**

_Maybe I would have been something_

_You'd be good at  
_

_Maybe you would have been something_

_I'd be good at_

The next morning finds House still safely entangled in Cuddy's bed. Cuddy is resting peacefully using House's chest as her pillow. Her comforter is haphazardly covering both their waists. Her arm is draping possessively around his stomach gripping him tightly to her. House's hand is loosely resting on Cuddy's lower back unconsciously encouraging her closeness.

Cuddy's alarm clock begins to beep with increasing volume rousing her from sleep. Soon she feels movement coming from her human pillow. She opens her eyes just in time to see House violently hitting the clock with his free arm until it stops its incessant whining.

"You're still here?" Cuddy sleepily mumbles from her spot on his chest. Her lips lightly tickle House's chest as she speaks.

"Maybe it was the kung fu death grip you had on me all night?" House responds looking down at the pile of curls on his chest knowing somewhere beyond them is Cuddy's face.

House is feeling calm about things with Cuddy in his drowsy state. For once, he is living in the moment and just enjoying the feeling of a naked Cuddy wrapped securely around his body.

"What can I say? I am big on preventative measures and trained in Krav Maga." Cuddy says rolling off him as she speaks.

House does not like her sudden absence from his arms, but will never admit it aloud. Instead, he just allows her to break the contact without comment.

Cuddy is quick to joke but feels suddenly shy at being caught being so possessive towards him, even in her slumber. In Cuddy's eyes, cuddling in your sleep is one thing, and can ultimately be explained away. However, cuddling while fully alert is quite another and she is not sure that they are ready for that particular step.

"_Cuddy: ultimate fighting champion_, it has a nice ring to it." House laughs. "I see you doing battle in a tiny sheer bikini. Wait, better yet we could start a topless chick ultimate fighting league. I am a genius. I just came up with that. I am going to be a millionaire!"

"I am sure that league exists somewhere already on the internet. It is just waiting to be found by you. After some of the things you have forwarded me, I don't think there is anything disgusting or degrading left to discover…" Cuddy says tugging at the covers resituating her body so she is shoulder to shoulder with House.

"You actually watch the things I send to you?" House says completely amused at the thought.

"No, but unfortunately for me the email titles leave little to the imagination. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what will be in a link titled, _'genuine circus orgy, clowns, bearded ladies, and bears oh my'…"_

"That is a classic, so much better than the non genuine circus orgies." House answers with a nod of his head.

Without warning, Cuddy propels herself on top of House. Her mouth seeks out his giving him a long lingering kiss. House is immediately responsive their tongues seeking each other out eagerly. When Cuddy is sure she has kissed him senseless, she casually breaks to contact. She moves off him as fast as she climbed on him. She lies on her side, using her arm to keep her head propped up. She looks at him with a pleased grin on her face.

"What was that for?" House asks breathily, "not that I am complaining."

"I didn't want to waste my precious time talking about circus orgies and I thought that was the best way to change the subject," Cuddy smiles licking at her bottom lip.

"Well, what the method lacks in originality it makes up for in pure awesomeness."

"Are you saying I am an awesome kisser?" Cuddy asks her smile widening.

House tilts his body so he can have a good look at the woman in front of him. He takes in Cuddy's sparkling eyes, her unruly curls, her kiss-swollen lips and wants nothing more than to show her just how good she truly is at kissing and everything else. The thought is unnatural to him, sappy almost, and instead a witty retort falls from his lips.

"No, I am saying I am an awesome kisser, but the fact that you can keep up is an accomplishment in its own right. Hang in there, Cuddy. There are so few of us out there that are black belt status love machines."

"I guess I will just have to go practice with some other guys. You know, so I can get to your level. Do you know if Wilson has any plans for this afternoon? I am sure he would be willing to help me up my game." Cuddy quickly returns with an innocent smirk.

"Not cool, Cuddy." House replies seriously. "If you need lessons I am the only one you need as a teacher."

The green monster inside of House comes out before he can play it cool. He knows she is messing with him but the possibility of Cuddy and Wilson hooking up has been on his top five biggest fears list for quite sometime.

"You are totally jealous. Just at the mere thought of me making out with Wilson gets you all caveman." Cuddy confidently deduces.

Cuddy smiles at him affectionately. She loves nothing more then when House slips up and shows he does have genuine feelings towards her. She has always hated possessiveness of any kind in relationships in the past. However, for years now with the slow build between them she has found anytime House has shown his jealous side it does nothing but make him sexier to her. House opens up so rarely that with him she enjoys any hint (_possessive or otherwise_) that lets her know what is going on inside of him.

"No, I just know where Wilson's mouth has been. I would hate to have to put the kibosh on all this because he gave you herpes." House tries to cover.

"That is just gross, House." Cuddy says making a disgusted face.

"My point exactly, so beyond making out with diseased mouths what is on your agenda for today?" House asks wanting to deflect from his momentary jealousy.

"You care what is on my agenda for today? Who are you and what have you done with House? This isn't going to be like a _Scooby Doo_ thing where I tug at your chin and your mask comes off to reveal some creepy old guy, is it?" Cuddy quips briefly tickling at his neck as if she is trying to pull off his disguise.

"I am just trying to figure out the best time to come bend you over your desk and have my wicked way with you. However, if you are into rubber masks, I am sure I can arrange something. Who knew you were so kinky!" House returns licking his lips at the prospect.

"Oh thank God it is you!" Cuddy says mock relieved, "Sorry House, but no sex at or in the workplace that is rule number one. Rule number two of course being no masks in the bedroom, unless the mask looks like George Clooney."

"I am not big on rules. Jeez Cuddy, you think a girl knows you and then they say crap like you just met." House jokes.

"Oh I know you alright, but I also know you are smart enough to see the pitfalls on not obeying this particular rule. You know pitfalls like no sex at all…"

"Fine, fine, fine I wouldn't want everyone in the hospital to find out and ruin my street cred anyway, but the mask thing is still up for negotiation." House concedes.

"People knowing we're together would ruin your street cred?" Cuddy asks slightly offended at the comment.

"I have talked a lot of shit about you over the years… so yeah, pretty much." House deadpans.

"You are ridiculous." Cuddy dismisses with a shake of her head.

"Yet, you still want to do the humpty dance with me." House boldly replies.

"Not that it matters to you anymore but I do have to get up now. I have a meeting with Cooperberg in Peds. She has been relentless about needing to discuss something with me privately. I already pushed this meeting back like four times." Cuddy says seriously.

"My guess is she wants to profess her undying love to you. Whenever she and I have clinic duty at the same time I see her checking out your ass just as I am. Sometimes the hag even obstructs my view of your finest assets, as if clinic duty is not bad enough without someone blocking the only bright spot. She probably wants to proposition you to move to Vermont with her and start a make your own jam business."

"Maybe I will take her up on it since apparently it won't ruin her street cred to admit…" Cuddy purposely lets her sentence drop off when she realizes that ending it the way she wanted to would probably be disastrous. The last thing she wants to do is freak him out all over again by making any kind of inference about House and her and the scary _L_ word.

"Oh come on, we both know Cooperberg has no street cred." House jokes knowing the obvious end to her sentence but feeling good enough for once to let it slide.

Cuddy sighs in relief when she sees House is not going to freak out at her almost slip.

"Okay you got me there." Cuddy laughs.

"I got you here too." House responds reaching around and pinching her ass.

He then wraps her arm more fully around her and pulls her in for another kiss. Cuddy allows the kiss to escalate her lips opening fusing to his. She can feel the beginnings of his erection at her hip and knows she has to pull back while she still can.

"Okay, I have to get up." Cuddy reluctantly breathes out, pulling back from his embrace.

"So we can't do it now or at the hospital? I call bullshit." House dramatically states pulling her back closer to him.

"Tonight, House… Be a good boy and tonight I will make sure it is worth the wait." Cuddy negotiates.

"It better be damn good. I am thinking a French maid costume… No, no, no Catholic schoolgirl... No wait you in the tomb raider outfit, with an Angelina Jolie mask, but cut holes in the eyes, I like yours better…"

Cuddy playfully smacks him on the chest placing one last light kiss on his lips before getting out of bed.

"Oh I will get right on that." She teasingly retorts before making her way towards her shower.

House watches her retreating naked figure and cannot help but call out, "You are killing me you know."

"All part of my evil plan." Cuddy calls out over her shoulder adding a little bounce to her step just for him.

* * *

"Okay, Dr. Cooperberg what can I do for you today?" Cuddy asks the middle-aged woman sitting in the visitors chair in her office.

"Well, first I just want to thank you so much for the meeting. I know how busy you are Dr. Cuddy. I do not know how you do it. You are like a regular Wonder Woman with all you do for this place. Not to mention you always look so glamorous while doing it, impeccably dressed never a hair out of place…." Cooperberg starts in an awed tone.

As Cooperberg speech goes on and on, Cuddy wonders for the millionth time in her life how House became so insanely good at observing people. At the time, she had shrugged off House's comments about the doctor. She assumed it was just House's overactive imagination seeing the chance for girl on girl action at every turn. She had no idea this woman might have a thing for her but now it seemed obvious that she might actually be enamored with her. She had just called her glamorous, impeccable, and compared her to Wonder Woman.

"Thank you that's so sweet, so what can I help you with today…" As the woman finally winds down her compliments, Cuddy takes the opportunity to speak. She is trying to stay on course and get the meeting over with as fast as possible.

"Listen, I am just going to lay it out there. I am usually pretty big on not getting involved in things that aren't my business."

Cuddy tries to hold back a smirk knowing that this woman is an infamous busybody.

"Of course," Cuddy replies.

"I just cannot hold back anymore this is affecting the whole department. Dr. Ashton is clearly having a relationship with his new nurse and it is out of hand. He is showing blatant favoritism towards her not to mention neglecting patient care in favor of rendezvous. The hospital bylaws are clear when it comes to fraternization. Having a sexual relationship with someone under your direct authority is forbidden and ultimately grounds for termination."

"Yes, and with you being the lead on our committee of keeping the staff up to date on hospital policies, you would know better than most." Cuddy manages to spit out as the other doctors words begin to register in her head.

Cuddy's mind immediately goes to her new personal situation with House and a consequence she had not really considered. Cuddy takes a sip of water in hopes of calming herself down as the doctor makes her latest statement.

"I mean Dr. Cuddy can you see why I felt I needed to bring this to your attention... It would be like someone in your position being involved with a department head a complete violation of our code of conduct."

Cuddy immediately chokes on her water as she hears the doctor's words. She manages to swallow it down before doing an actual full on spit take.

The doctor misreads her almost choking and continues apologetically, "Oh don't misunderstand me, I am not saying you would ever do something that ethically irresponsible, Dr. Cuddy. I am just making an example of what a clear conflict of interest it is. How can you remain objective when a personal relationship is involved? I have to admit I feel a bit like a snitch, but policies are made for a reason. Dr. Ashton is clearly violating them and I felt I had a moral obligation…'"

Cuddy is barely hearing the bothersome doctor's words. Instead, she is mentally chastising herself for not thinking about this part of starting something with House. There had been so many conflicting emotions in regards to whatever it was they had just started. Yet, it had not crossed her mind that it was against hospital regulations to have a relationship with him.

"I understand completely doctor. I will look it into it." Cuddy says distractedly when she believes it is her time to speak again.

"I am not saying he should be fired although that is protocol, but I do feel like the board should be notified, or at least a written warning should be made."

"I thank you for your concern and I will handle this from here." Cuddy manages while she simultaneously continues mentally berating herself.

"Thank you, Dr. Cuddy. I knew coming to you would be the right choice. Most hospitals are such a boys club and they tend to tolerate this kind of behavior. But not here, working with a female dean is one of the reasons I enjoy this hospital so much."

Dr. Cooperberg makes her way out of Cuddy's office leaving a flabbergasted Cuddy behind her.

"Shit," Cuddy whispers into her empty office.

* * *

Cuddy has not moved from her position in her office chair since her morning meeting had concluded. She is still stunned from her earlier encounter with Dr. Cooperberg. Her mind is still racing. She barely hears the tap on her door. It is not until Wilson's voice registers in her ears that she realizes she once again has company.

"Hey, I hope I am not interrupting anything. I just saw House and while he is as evasive as ever I did get it out of him that he had not managed to screw things up with you last night. I just thought I would come and check up on the other half of…" Wilson abruptly stops speaking when he takes a good look at Cuddy face.

Wilson is immediately concerned when he sees that Cuddy looks somewhere between grief-stricken and sick to her stomach. She in not at all the picture he had in his head when he decided to make a visit to her.

"Okay what's wrong? From how House was acting this morning, I thought I would come in here and you would be beaming. Instead you look like a small child whose precious balloon has been popped."

"I am an idiot." Cuddy sighs rubbing her face as she speaks.

"Why?" Wilson asks perplexed making his way into one of her guest chairs.

"I am a complete idiot. I am Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum wrapped up in one giant ball of idiocy." Cuddy continues her tone becoming higher in pitch with each word.

"You are going to have help me out here, Cuddy because I am completely lost." Wilson states the confusion in his face is clear.

"When House and I were in this weird limbo between something and nothing, I thought of a lot things. Pretty obsessively, I might add. I thought all about him, his inability to open up, his attitude, and his brand of craziness. I thought all about me, my issues, my attitude, and my brand of craziness. I deliberated about how the combination of both our collective baggage could possibly work and how it could not. I even pondered our professional relationship, about the effects of Dr. House and Dean of Medicine Cuddy having a personal relationship. I wondered if we could maintain objectivity at work if I was sleeping with him."

"Right, sure, sounds like you..." Wilson adds, not really seeing where she is going. "I don't think that makes you an idiot. In fact thinking things over is usually considered a sign of intelligence."

"I am not finished. So needless to say, I thought a lot, most people would say too much. For some unknown reason though it never crossed my mind that being with House was actually against hospital policy. I obviously was not planning to announce it over any loud speakers but I did not think about the fact that something happening between us would have to be a secret forever. That if the wrong person finds out, I could lose my job! I usually think about everything, every possible scenario. Especially when it comes to House, I mean I set aside money every year for his personal lawsuits. That is how thought out I usually am. So of course the one time I decide to go just a little bit on instinct it bites me right in the ass."

"Are you sure it is against policy? I mean I always thought that stuff was just frowned upon. Nothing happened after House went on that date with Cameron and many people knew about that, you included. You are the Dean, Cuddy. Isn't that like a perk of being in charge you can't really get in trouble?"

"Well in regards to the Cameron thing I thought it was a good thing House was getting out there again. So I kind of made sure the wrong people didn't know about it. Moreover, one date and a reoccurring sexual relationship are two vastly different things. You know that I am held accountable by the board just like you regardless of my position as Dean. A violation is a violation and I signed a contract that stipulates I abide by hospital rules and regulations."

"Okay fair enough, but like I said are you sure about this even being a violation?" Wilson reiterates.

"Fortuitously timed, I just got a whole refresher course on the hospital policy regarding fraternization between a superior and a subordinate." Cuddy dejectedly responds.

"Are you saying someone already knows about you two?"

"No, Dr. Cooperberg came to tattle about Dr. Ashton and that twit of a new nurse he has apparently been sleeping with. You know she is like a human encyclopedia of the universities bylaws."

"Well, Dr. Cooperberg is famous for that huge stick up her ass. If you ask me she could use a twit nurse of her own." Wilson matter-of-factly states.

"Regardless of Cooperberg's ass, policy is policy." Cuddy sighs.

"Cuddy, no one has to find out. House is not exactly Mr. Open. He is insanely private when it comes to his own life. He only likes to expose everyone else's lives to the world, not his own. The only other person besides you two that knows anything is happening is me. I would never rat you two out. You're safe." Wilson optimistically counters.

"But all it takes is one slip up, one touch over the line in front of the wrong person, and I could be looking for a new job. I mean lets face it he was completely inappropriate with me before anything happened. I can only imagine what his antics will be like now. My whole life's focus has been about getting to the position I am at now. I have been working my ass off for years on end. I have sacrificed so much to get to this place and I do not know if I am can willingly compromise that even for him… I do not know if I can do this," Cuddy impassionedly gives her speech and is a little taken a back at her last conclusion.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You aren't saying you are going to break up with him, are you?" Wilson asks stunned at her words.

"No…I don't know." Cuddy miserably states. "Technically, we aren't even together. You know how House feels about labels."

"Cuddy, don't be stupid. Of course, you two are together. Yeah, House is scared of the words but this is the first effort he has made for anyone in a very long time. That means something."

"I do know that. I am just freaking out here, Wilson." Cuddy articulates rubbing her eyes in frustration.

"I think stopping things with him would be a huge mistake, Cuddy. There has to be a way to work this out." Wilson warns.

"This is my career, Wilson. I mean House isn't so far off when he calls this place my baby…."

"I already told you, no one has to find out. You can keep House and your baby." Wilson repeats.

"Yeah, but that is no guarantee that someone won't figure things out. It is a maybe, how can I consciously let my career hang on a maybe." Cuddy wonders aloud.

"Even if someone did find out what is the likelihood of them bringing it to the board?" Wilson questions, he as sure as hell is not going to give his blessing to something like this.

"With all the enemies House has made here over the years? Couple that with all the people who would not mind sticking it to their boss. I mean I am no House but I am also kind of a hard ass around here. That is not even figuring in all the old farts on the board that though they politely smile at me they still have the antiquated notion that a woman's place is in the kitchen or some other misogynistic crap. They really would not hesitate to replace me with some stupid up and coming man. So going with that I would say pretty likely."

Cuddy knows she is being logical, but it does not stop her heart from feeling like it's being slowly ripped from her chest at her rapid depressing conclusions.

"But this is you and House, Cuddy. I mean it is so many years in the making. Was it not just a few days ago I found you in the cafeteria distraught over the thought that you two could never be anything. Then miracle of miracles it is actually starting to happen and you are so willing to give it up? That doesn't sound like the Cuddy I know." Wilson is getting angrier as he speaks at both Cuddy and the situation.

"I am not saying I am giving it up. I am just saying there is so much more to this than I thought. Let be honest here, Wilson. What is actual likelihood of House and me staying together in any long-term capacity? Both of our track records really speak for themselves in the relationship department. I mean he has fucked up twice already in a matter of days. This brings me to the fact that it has only been a couple of days."

"Exactly Cuddy, it has only been a couple days why not see where it goes before making any rash decisions…"

Cuddy does not even hear Wilson's words instead continuing with her own train of thought.

"The one thing House and I both have always had is our careers. That is a constant in not just my life but his as well. How many times has he told me his intellect is all he has? How many times have I seen him be completely wrapped up in his medical puzzles? The wrong people find out about us and that could all be over. Staying together would be potentially risking my career and his on all sorts of maybes. Maybe no one will find out, maybe he will stay with me, maybe this won't all blow up in my face, maybe we both won't lose our jobs..."

"I know ultimately I can't tell you what to do but if you break things off with him you better be damn sure it is the right decision. I am telling you in House's own way he has really put himself out there for you. I mean he actually tried to right a wrong of his for you. He actually took my advice about something. Do you understand how big of a deal that is? If you end it with him, I can tell you there is no going back. There will be no changing your mind after you are cold and lonely for a while. If you do this, he will never let you in again. In fact, I am sure he will shut down completely. Hell, I doubt he will even attempt to ever let anyone in again." Wilson cautions his tone as severe as it has ever been to his boss and friend.

"Isn't it a little unfair to put all that on my shoulders? You don't think my guilt quotient is high enough already with him?" Cuddy asks her voice cracking with emotion.

"Unfair or not it's the truth. God, I was stupid. I should have never encouraged this. You two are more alike than you realize, Cuddy. At least House is more in your face with his neurosis. You just hide it better. This is not about your jobs and deep down you know it. This is about the insane need you both have to sabotage yourselves. You both manage to find the first plausible excuse to ruin any chance at personal happiness either one of you get the moment you get it. It's sick." Wilson berates.

"Wilson, I didn't say I was breaking things off. You are being a little harsh! I am just being realistic." Cuddy interrupts her eyes slightly glassy with unshed tears.

"It's all over your face. _It's your career…" _Wilson mocks pissed off on his friend's behalf.

"Wilson, please do not say anything to House. Whatever I decide it is between him and I, him hearing anything from you just wouldn't be… it's not what…. just please don't say anything."

"Oh believe me. I do not want to be anywhere near this particular landmine. Thank you very much." Wilson grumbles clearly upset. He swiftly gets out of his chair as he speaks.

Wilson abruptly turns away from her and starts heading towards her door.

"Wilson…" Cuddy calls out in a timid tone. She does not want to leave things like this with him.

"Bye, Cuddy." Wilson curtly replies holding up his hand to make it clear he does not want to hear anything else she has to say. He makes his way out of the room as quickly as possible leaving a melancholy Cuddy staring at the closed door behind him.

* * *

_  
Song Credit: Call It Off, Tegan and Sara_

_Next Up_: House gets clued in to Cuddy's new issue.


	10. If You Don't, Don't

**A/N: **Thank you so much to everyone who reviews, love it…

**Chapter Ten: If You Don't, Don't**

_If you don't know, why would you say so?  
Won't you get your story straight.  
If you don't know, honey, why'd you just say so?  
Cause I need this now more than I ever did.  
If you don't, well, honey, then you don't._

It is nearing the end of the workday when House has some time to go bug/visit his best friend. House's demeanor is unusually chipper as he walks into Wilson's office not bothering to knock as usual. After two nights in a row of extraordinary sex with Cuddy plus the promise of more tonight, he cannot help but be a little less visibly miserable.

"House," Wilson says simply as he watches his friend hobble into the room.

Wilson noticeably deflates a little at the sight of House. He had been praying that he would not see House until after Cuddy talked to him. Not that he was particularly looking forward to seeing House after he saw Cuddy either. Wilson's whole day since his confrontation with Cuddy was spent imagining horrible destructive scenarios of what House will do to himself when Cuddy breaks up with him.

The almost grin on House's face makes it clear to Wilson that Cuddy has not spoken to him yet. Wilson knew he did not trust himself not to tell House what was going on with Cuddy and silently prayed this visit was about anything but her.

"After our little chat this morning I assume you went to Cuddy for some girl talk. You know since I was not giving it up. So spill Wilson, did she tell you about how the earth was quaking and I shook her all night long?" House says without a formal greeting. He quickly plops into one of Wilson's guest chairs.

"I haven't seen Cuddy today. Despite what you might think my life doesn't revolve around you and your exploits." Wilson quickly lies.

"I guess instead of saying assumed I should have said walked by her office and saw you inside. The fact that you just lied about being there is intriguing. Even more intriguing is the little barb you added on, you are trying to deflect. What is going on, Wilson?"

"I was in there about a new oncology study, you know work. That thing we are supposed to be doing while in this hospital." Wilson answers already knowing he is caught.

"If you went to see her about work you would have just told me. You would not have lied and said you had not seen her at all. That leads me to believe you did go see Cuddy and not to talk about work. There is only one thing you two have in common and that is little old me. I am guessing whatever happened is something you either do not want to tell me, or something she asked you not to tell me. Anyway you slice it the game is up and you are going to fill me in." House shrewdly reasons losing the grin.

"If you think Cuddy is keeping something from you go ask her. Leave me out of it. From now on whatever is going on between you two is your own damn problem." Wilson grumps suddenly hating that he is in the middle of all of this.

"Oh it is something big isn't it. You only ever try to remove yourself from situations when you are ass deep in the middle of trouble," House deduces.

"House, just please go talk to Cuddy." Wilson pleads knowing that he will end up telling House what is going on if he keeps prodding.

"Oh hell no. I am going to sit here until you tell me whatever the hell happened that has got you so worked up. Let us see, so far I know it involves Cuddy and me. It must be something bad because good news you would have spilled like the 17-year-old gossip girl you are… What is it, is she cutting my department? Did she stop taking her birth control in the hopes her dried up innards can produce tiny genius babies? Spill…"

"House, this isn't my place." Wilson tries knowing that House does not care about formalities like whose place it is to tell someone something.

"Wilson, come on. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. As you know by now the hard way is usually paved with a lot of personal shame and humiliation for you. It always ends the same way as the easy way does. You end up singing like a canary. So why not save yourself some heart ache and come out with it already." House returns.

"Fine House, I think she might be having second thoughts... you know about… you guys…" Wilson reluctantly admits.

"You don't think, you know." House corrects seeing the look in his best friend's eyes. "Things were fine when I left her this morning. What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Wilson defensively answers.

"Sure you didn't! Fine, if you didn't do it what happened?" House asks accusingly.

It seemed very suspicious to House that Cuddy was more than fine when they went their separate ways this morning. Now after a meeting with Wilson, she is apparently having second thoughts about them. House was just starting to come to terms with the fact that maybe this thing between them could work. If Wilson had done something to screw it up best friend or not there would be hell to pay.

"You were right. I went to her this morning to see how she was feeling about things. I was thinking she would be all happy and glowy. Instead, I walked into her office and she looked like someone had just repeatedly kicked her puppy. Then she went into this whole thing about she had not thought about the fact that you two being together was against hospital policy until today. How if anyone finds out that you two are together you could both lose your jobs. Basically, from that point on I watched as a full on Cuddy freak out commenced."

"You didn't have anything to do with it? She was just like that when you got there?" House questions still suspicious about his friends motives.

"Yes. Why would I bring it up, House? If you haven't noticed I have been playing _Yente the matchmaker _for quite awhile now." Wilson reasons.

"Fine, do you know what brought this all on?" House relents a little knowing Wilson has in fact been trying to get them together for quite sometime. At times Wilson seemed to want it more than they did.

"From what I could gather Cuddy had a meeting with Cooperberg where she ratted out Dr. Ashton for doing the horizontal mambo with his nurse. The exchange brought it to Cuddy's attention that a superior and a subordinate having a personal relationship is against hospital policy."

"She didn't already know that? What kind of Dean of Medicine is she?" House replies the tone in his voice making it seem like it was an obvious thing.

"You did know that?" Wilson questions a little surprised.

"Yeah of course I did. It is a standard rule of conduct. That is why I was not planning to announce it in my bi-weekly newsletter, _House around the Hospital_." House snarks, "So is she having second thoughts? Or you are trying to sugarcoat it, and you know she is going to break things off completely?"

"I don't know, House. You know how Cuddy is." Wilson vaguely answers.

"That is not an answer. Yes or no do think she is going to try and end things between us?" House demands.

"It didn't look too great." Wilson reluctantly admits. "I am sorry, House. I shouldn't have pushed you two…"

"I see." House replies quickly, giving away nothing about how he is feeling.

"House, I told her I would let her talk to you. Maybe now that she has had more time to think and calm down she will realize she was just having a little freak out." The optimistic side of Wilson hopes that what he is saying has merit.

"She gets me all entangled in this stupid thing and now she thinks she is just going to bow out after a couple of days? Using a lame excuse at that, one she should have already known about! I was perfectly happy with the way things were but no she was saying all these things. You were saying all these things. Both of you making me think I had to do something or I would never… that she would be out of my… and now look… This is absolute crap…"

Wilson looks at House a little stunned at his reaction. He was unsure of what House would do when confronted with this information. He expected a retreat from the man either mentally or physically. The raw anger mixed with a weird determination that House is showing is completely surprising.

"House, go talk to her I shouldn't be the one hearing this stuff." Wilson advises.

"Oh, I am going to talk to her alright. She has been acting so calm and mature I should have fucking known. That is not Cuddy at all. I should have been preparing for this. People do not change. Her college nickname was not Cocoa Puffs Cuddy because she really liked chocolaty breakfast cereal!"

"Her nickname in college was Cocoa Puffs Cuddy?" Wilson asks momentarily taken out of the seriousness of their conversation. The tiny reveal is very intriguing to Wilson. He realizes that House has never let him be privy to anything regarding his and Cuddy's mutual past.

"That is what some of us guys called her behind her back. She was always a little nuts when it came to any kind of commitment. She usually came up with some crazy reason to dump a guy within the first couple weeks of being with him. To her face she was Party Pants." House replies distractedly.

House's mind is fuming with the new knowledge that Wilson had just thrust upon him. In his anger-haze, he does not realize he is revealing a little bit of his highly guarded past to his best friend.

"What, Party Pants? People called Cuddy _Party Pants_. You called Cuddy _Party Pants_? Why am I just learning about this? I need background information STAT."

"This is so not the time, Wilson. I have to go. I have an administrator to demolish." House says determinedly standing from his chair as he speaks.

House is on a mission. If Cuddy thinks she is going to start all this crap up and then just say '_opps, never mind'_ she has another thing coming. House hates change. House hates emotions. He had mostly willingly done both for her in the last couple of days. He actually did something for someone other than himself. He refused to make it easy for her to end things.

"Please don't tell her I told you." Wilson begs.

House is already halfway out the door when he sarcastically replies. "Sure, it is my number one priority."

"You are going to tell her aren't you?" Wilson gloomily asks.

"Of course I am Wilson. Suck it up." House says before slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Cuddy sits on her couch cradling a glass of hot tea in her hands staring blankly at the opposite wall. She had gone home relatively early today in the hopes of avoiding House. She still is not sure what she is going to do. Her talk with Wilson has left her feeling even more conflicted. Everything she told Wilson was still true but what he had said to her in return had really gotten to her. She needed more time to think before going anywhere near House. Who would (_as always_) see right through her. She knew he would demand answers she did not have.

She hears a knock on her door and instinctively knows who is on the other side. Cuddy briefly considers just not answering but as the knocking increases in volume, she knows the time has come whether she wants it to be there or not.

"House," Cuddy greets monosyllabically as she yanks the door open.

House does not bother with any formalities or words at this point. He simply pushes the door further open leaving Cuddy to stumble back a little as he makes his way in her home. She steps back to let him through and he slams the door behind him.

"Come in." Cuddy says a little stunned.

House heads further in her home making his way into her living room as Cuddy follows blindly behind him.

"House, what is going on?" Cuddy gently questions.

She is sure by his demeanor that she already knows. Wilson has never been known for being a good secret keeper and she half expected this to happen. Finally, after a few more moments of House silently pacing around her living room he turns and looks at her.

"What is going on? Good question, word on the street is you are breaking things off with me." House starts his tone one of forced nonchalance. "So what excuse will it be Cuddy? You going to stick with the classic _it's not you, it's me? _Maybe you will go for something more original like when we were having sex your body was inhabited by an alien creature who has since left and now you just aren't that into me. No wait, I have it. Now this one is just off the top of my head. You are going to tell me you didn't know that me dipping my pen in your company ink is against hospital policy. How can you possibly continue blah, blah, blah stupidity…"

"Wilson told you." Cuddy cuts in sadly before he can take his rant any further.

Cuddy reaches out instinctively and puts her hand on his arm in a sympathetic gesture. House immediately shrugs off her contact. Cuddy pulls her hand back quickly trying to shake off the rebuff.

"Of course Wilson told me. You should have known that he would. Maybe that is what you wanted. Let Wilson break up with me for you and save you the hassle." House sardonically retorts.

"I never told Wilson I was going to break up with you. It's funny that is how you phrase it since last night you were all about not putting a label on things. To break up with you I would have to be in a relationship with you in the first place." Cuddy returns defensively.

For Cuddy, House thinking that she would really be as cold as to have Wilson do her dirty work coupled with his physical rejection leaves her feeling aggravated. The emotion is always one she feels safe unleashing on House.

"You are really going to try and argue semantics with me right now, Cuddy? Is that really your strategy?" House questions in a disbelieving tone. "In a way I guess it is a pretty good one. In any other situation I might commend you for your balls."

Cuddy knows that she is going about this the wrong way. This is going to be hard enough and she wants them both to come out of this as unscathed as possible. The only way she sees that happening is by being logical with him. She hopes she can get him to understand her position.

"House, you are right now isn't the time. We started things so quickly and I just wasn't thinking about the fact that what we were doing was against policy." Cuddy calmly starts.

"Here it comes…" House groans.

"House, you love your job. Solving your cases is the only thing I have ever seen that brings you any kind of lasting satisfaction. I am the only one crazy enough to keep you employed. If the wrong people were to find out about us, we could both be out of a job. This is not what I want, but I do not know how I can be that knowingly irresponsible…" Cuddy tries to reason looking everywhere but at House's angry face.

"Don't think I don't notice your darting eyes there, Cuddy. Your words and not being able to look at my face tells me all I need to know. Just so you know, the only way people at the hospital would find out is if I wanted them to find out. I already made it clear to you earlier that I did not want that to happen. I run circles around those jag offs on the board. I am a meticulous person, Cuddy. People only know things about me when and if I want them to."

"You are also the kind of person who likes to push things as far as they will go. In fact, you have already kissed me in my office on more than one occasion. What if someone had walked in?" Cuddy interjects forcing herself to look at him straight in the eyes.

"The first time the blinds were shut and we were like the only two people left in the hospital. The second time was so brief it does not even count. For something like this to go to the board, they would need substantiated proof. You know the hospital does not go around firing people over idle speculation or the word of one person. Especially not when the person they would be firing is the dean of medicine." House explains as if he were speaking to a child.

"You are suddenly the expert on how our board operates?" Cuddy questions skeptically. The condescending tone in House's voice once again setting her off.

"What exactly do you think is going to happen? How are people going to find out let alone have proof unless we give it to them? I have no plans to kiss you in the hospital again so just how do you think I am I going to _'push things as far as they will go'?_" House parrots in a mocking tone. "Do you think I am going to be overcome with lust and give you the old in and out on top of the nurse's station? Maybe you think next time one of my patients needs an organ I am going to tell the board members, _hey, my patient could really use a new kidney, oh and on an unrelated note, I am banging the dean._ Your excuse is crap, Cuddy. You want to be done with this, with us, fine but be honest. We are both too smart to not be able to out outwit the idiots of PPTH. Trying to blame it on some archaic hospital policy is a fucking cop out Cuddy and you know it!"

House's raw anger fuels Cuddy's. In her mind she has a legitimate concern and he is talking to her as if she is stupid and crazy. When she answers back, she is just as angry as he is.

"Why do you even care? I feel like I have been dragging you kicking and screaming through whatever we started since our first night together. You know the night you flat left me in the middle of the night without a word. I have some valid second thoughts and now all of a sudden you are all indignant. You just thought you would be the one to end this and can't stand the thought that I might have reservations about it continuing." Cuddy yells.

"Ah ha and now the real reason comes out." House shouts back.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I told you the real reason from the start. I do not want to lose my job. I do not want you to lose your job. I am trying to be sensible here. I thought you might understand but of course you are being a huge bastard."

"No the real reason is you are scared I am going to end up breaking your heart. So instead you have worked yourself into a frenzy in order to justify breaking things off with me first." House returns his tone more calm looking at her as if he can see right through her.

"Well aren't you full of yourself." Cuddy sputters taken aback by his observation.

"No I am just right. You think you are saving yourself in the end. You think you will look back and see it as some kind of noble gesture. You will have this nice tidy excuse to fit into your nice tidy life. On the many cold and lonely nights to come, you can tell yourself the lie that you gave this up in order to save our precious jobs as if that will give you some kind of solace. Well newsflash Cuddy, even you are not delusional enough to believe that for too long. The truth is you will look back and see that you screwed something up for no good reason but your own bullshit baggage."

"Am I really listening to you give me a lecture about letting my baggage screw things up? Really? This is coming from a man who has not been in a relationship of any kind in like almost ten years. Unless in your screwed up world view hookers count as a relationship. You suddenly know everything about my motives! The guy who was freaking out about our relationship just last night. You are suddenly the expert." Cuddy berates her defenses coming up in spades.

"Name one real relationship you have been in, in the last ten years, Cuddy. Better yet, I will make it easier on you name one person you have been on more than three dates with in the last ten years. Go on I am all ears…" House makes a dramatic pause before continuing, "Oh nothing to say… You are just as screwed up as I am. Do you think going on a few dates with losers, you meet on Jdate, or what was it that last time '_ballroom dance lovers_' makes you superior to me in some way? Hey, pot the kettle called. It left you a message. You are black."

"This doesn't even matter. This is not about either one of our issues this is about my career. This is about your career." Cuddy tries to steer the conversation away from its current path.

"No, this is about you being a controlling bitch that shoved me into this mess just to pull out." House coldly responds.

"GET OUT!" Cuddy yells pointing to the door as she speaks.

"I am not done!"

"I don't care, I am. You know I was having doubts but you really sealed the deal. You are a judgmental ass and you aren't worth the risk." Cuddy emotionally returns.

"You are just mad because I called you out on what is really going on." House counters. "The risk is in your head."

"What part of _GET OUT _was unclear to you? Do you need me to draw you a map?" Cuddy asks her tone icy.

When House makes no move to leave she takes both of her hands and gives him a shove. He catches himself before he falls grabbing on to his cane with both hands to steady himself.

"FINE, you get what you want! I am out of here. I hope you and your vibrator are very happy together!"

House turns on his heels angrily making his way to Cuddy's front door. He does not look back once. He quickly makes his way out of her place slamming the door behind him.

At the sound of the slamming door, Cuddy finally allows her emotions to come through. Tears liberally fall down her cheeks. That was certainly the end of that. She falls back onto her couch. Her mind instantly goes to the night before when House had taken her on the very spot she was now sitting on. At the thought, a sob escapes her throat. She places her head in her hands and weeps freely. She has never felt more alone and she shivers from the coldness of the room. Like always, House is right she is already cold and lonely.

As her crying winds down, nagging questions begin to enter her mind. Were House and Wilson both right? Was the hospital policy thing just an excuse? Was she really as bad at relationships as House was, possibly worse? Did she just completely overreact and ruin something that could be potentially great? Was House for once in his life being more mature than she was?

It was all too much for her at once and Cuddy suddenly feels as if she does not know anything for certain anymore…

* * *

_  
Song Credit: "If You Don't, Don't" Jimmy Eat World_

_Up Next:_ House has a late night visitor…. Do you want to read what happens next? Drop a review, please and thank you =)


	11. Oh, Sweetheart

**A/N: **This is the last chapter of _My Old Desk is Picturesque._ I have loved writing this and I am sad it is over but a little proud because this is the longest fic I have ever written. I like leaving things on a positive note, so a warning there is smut and slight resolution ahead. I want to thank everyone who took the time to review any part of this thing. Especially those who reviewed repeatedly, you are awesome and just yay for you in general.

**Chapter Eleven: Oh, Sweetheart**

_Whatever you say I take it back_

_Whatever I say I didn't mean that_

_Whatever you say I take it back_

_Whatever I say I didn't mean that_

"_Hey House, I just wanted to see how things um… I just wanted to make sure… Okay, I am going to cut to the chase here. If you don't pick up, I am coming over there to make sure you aren't lying somewhere in a pile of your own vomit … Pick up, or call me…." _The sound of Wilson's voice echoes throughout House's otherwise silent apartment.

Not wanting Wilson to come over at all, House makes a move from his position on his couch to pick up the receiver, "Hey Wilson."

"House, you're home." Wilson unnecessarily notes.

"Yep and I am vomit free. Your obligation as my best friend is over."

"You know I have to ask, what happened with Cuddy?" Wilson timidly questions.

"Your Cuddy radar was spot on. She broke things off." House confirms.

"But you sound so calm. You sound so sober." Wilson says more to himself than to House.

"Your faith in me is really astonishing. I do not drink because I am miserable. I drink because it's fun," House snarks.

"Well, if you want I could come over and bring some beer. We could watch the last season of the L word." Wilson offers.

"No, that isn't necessary."

"I know it's not necessary but I just feel like I helped create this mess…" Wilson starts his tone dripping with guilt.

"This mess was around long before you stuck your nose in…." House counters.

"House, I am coming over whether you want me to or not…"

"NO DON'T." House practically yells.

"You shouldn't be by yourself…" Wilson reasons.

"I won't be…" House responds cryptically.

"Oh God, please tell me you didn't call a hooker…" Wilson responds shaking his head on his side of the line.

"No Charisma was busy tonight…" House deadpans.

"Okay, good. I will be there in fifteen minutes tops. With some Stella, it will be good."

"I said don't come over." House reiterates. "I really can't be clearer than that."

"I said I was going to anyway." Wilson remains firm.

"Fine, I am expecting someone."

"So you did call a hooker!" Wilson admonishes.

"No, I didn't. Wilson, you are really starting to get on my last nerve here."

"Then who…"

"My other best friends, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam," House jokes wishing for once Wilson would leave well enough alone.

"If you don't give me a serious answer House you can expect to see my shining face shortly." Wilson threatens House hoping to provoke him into more of a response.

"Fine, it's Cuddy." House mumbles knowing that at this point he is going to have to get into it with his friend if he wants things to go as he thinks they will.

"Wait, you just told me she ended things." Wilson says the confusion in his tone clear.

"She did." House confirms still as vague as ever.

"But she is coming over to your place, I don't get it. It's not like you two were together long enough to do the famous exchanging of each others things in sad cardboard boxes."

"Wilson, I threw you your proverbial bone, now move on." House tone turns sterner.

House's aggravation is rising annoyed at Wilson's habit of wanting to know everything. Especially since it so often clashed with House's desire to reveal nothing.

"No, tell me what is going on, or I will be at your place." Wilson tries.

Wilson hopes his friend's obvious need to have him not come over will be enough motivation to get him to spill what is going on in his head.

"I won't let you in." House simply replies not taking the bait.

"Fine, I will stand outside your place. I am pretty sure whatever the real reason is you don't want me there, standing outside will have the same effect as me being inside."

"You're impossible and kind of a douche."

"That is rich coming from Mr. Impossible himself. House, just tell me what the hell is going on."

"Fine, I know Cuddy. I slapped her around with some raw truth bombs tonight. Her immediate reaction is always to take an offensive position. Now that our confrontation is over, she is alone and stewing over what I actually said. The woman has never stayed mad at me for any length of time. I have done some horrible and humiliating things to her. This time I have done nothing wrong." House finally explains.

"Agreed, you have done some awful things to Cuddy. I still do not get it. What are you saying exactly? Do you think she is going to change her mind about you two?" Wilson questions.

"I can pretty much guarantee it." House corroborates.

"House, I hate to be a bubble burster especially when this is the first time I have seen you show any kind of optimism in years, but she seemed pretty adamant when I spoke with her." Wilson speaks choosing his words carefully.

Wilson knows there is a chance House is right, but feels there is an equal chance he is wrong. He does not want his friend to fall doubly hard if things do not go as he believes they will.

"This isn't about optimism. This is about knowing your opponent." House corrects.

House is being honest with Wilson for once. His thought that Cuddy will show up at his place is not about optimism. He is basing his theory on the facts as he sees them. Cuddy might be dense but she is not stupid. Nine times out of ten, he manages eventually to get her to his way of thinking. He has always pointed out her true motivation for things and it always ends up wearing her down. Sure, now the thing in question was their relationship but the principles remained the same in House's eyes.

"Now Cuddy is your opponent?"

"Hasn't she always been? I set her straight on her real motivations. She will not be able to just leave it at that. Even if it's just to fight some more, there will be a round two." House clarifies.

"And what are those motivations exactly?" Wilson questions now intrigued.

"That she is commitment phobic and scared of getting her heart broken." House matter-of-factly states.

"Huh, that is actually pretty similar to what I told her." Wilson realizes.

"That is even better. It is one thing if I say it. It is another if sensible sensitive Wilson also agrees."

"What if she doesn't show up, House?" Wilson asks.

"Wilson, this conversation is over." House says quickly.

"House…" Wilson begins.

"Listen, if things don't go the way I think then tomorrow feel free to take me Cheetahs. We can get drunk and get some boobies in our faces. Whatever it takes to reassure you, buddy."

"Okay…" Wilson relents still not entirely convinced.

"Bye, Wilson." House says hanging up before Wilson has a chance to say anything else.

* * *

It is a little after midnight, when House hears a soft but persistent knock on his door. Instantly knowing he was right, he walks slowly to the door before opening it for his expected guest.

"I screwed up." Cuddy says as soon as she sees House's face.

It had not taken long after House had left her place for Cuddy to realize House was more right than wrong in their fight. She just could not let things end like that between them without at the very least trying to make amends. Therefore, before she really knew what she was doing she was making the short trip to his place. Cuddy realizes there is a very real possibility she might have lost her shot with him. Along this same vein, she knows if she has any chance of fixing things between them she needs to act quickly before he slams the door in her face.

"Excuse me," House replies.

"Can I come in? This isn't really a hallway conversation." Cuddy tries.

"Can't say I really want you to, plus do you know what time it is?" House answers.

There is no way House is going to make this easy on Cuddy. This was her mess and she was going to have to work hard to clean it up.

"Please House, I am sorry and we both know you weren't asleep." Cuddy counters.

"Good for you. I don't care."

"Oh for gods sake," Cuddy grumbles shoving her body in the small space provided and forcing House to either close the door literally on her, or let her in. House relents not willing to physically hurt her and opens the door wider letting her inside his place.

"I always thought coming in without an invitation was really more my style." House says closing the door behind them.

"What can I say I learn from the best," Cuddy jokes.

"Okay, so you have practically broken into my home. Which is ironic since when I last saw you, you were screaming at me to get out of yours."

"I came to apologize." Cuddy sincerely states.

"Okay, I heard you. You can leave now."

Cuddy knew when she came here this was not going to be easy. She has absolutely no intention of leaving before she says everything she needs to say.

"You were right about everything, about all of it, House. At least you knew how bad you were at all this. I have to give you credit for that. It took me too many years to truly realize the level of my incompetence when it comes to relationships. I should not have told you to leave. I should have been thinking more clearly than I was. Everything was hitting me all at once and I am sorry."

"And why is any of this my problem? I believe you made it pretty clear we are done." House asks slightly annoyed.

"I don't want to be. Damn it isn't it obvious that is why I am here forcing my way into your place." Cuddy impassionedly returns.

"It is not that obvious to me." House says with a careless shrug of his shoulders.

"You just want to make me say it. Fine, I am not interested in playing games tonight. I'd like to continue this thing we have started…" Cuddy acquiesces.

"What about our precious jobs?" House mockingly asks.

"No one has to know. We are both smart enough to keep this quiet." Cuddy echoes his earlier words.

"No one has to know because we aren't anything anymore. Remember, I am not worth the risk."

"So let me get this straight. You almost ruin things twice and I forgive you, but I have one freak out and it is game over?" Cuddy finally allows her anger to seep in at his cold attitude.

"I thought you had no interest in playing games, and I am not exactly known for my forgiving nature." House coolly states.

Cuddy had not expected this to be simple it was House after all. Still, she had her hopes deep down that he might be willing to move past it. She thought she could get him to see her side of things. At the very least, she had the notion he might back down for the prospect of more sex. It was becoming clear to Cuddy now that she is more emotionally invested than he is, which while it wasn't exactly unexpected it is still hurtful to her.

"Okay, well great. I get it. I guess coming here was a mistake. I will just be on my way then." Cuddy's eyes are slightly glassy as she speaks making his way towards his door.

Before Cuddy can turn the knob to the front door, House grabs her arm and turns her back around to face him.

"I guess if you promise to make it up to me with wild uninhibited sex, I am talking like a thousand times wilder than anything we have attempted so far, we can work something out." House says with a grin.

"Were you just screwing with me?" Cuddy questions suspiciously. She is clearly thrown at his quick behavior change.

"A little bit. I should have anticipated this happening anyway. I have known you a long time Cuddy. I know you better than you think." House replies.

"Actually, you usually make it scarily clear how well you know me." Cuddy concedes.

"Plus, I cannot argue with math. If the ratio is that I get two screw ups for every one of yours, the odds seem to be in my favor." House says with a shrug of his shoulders as if the whole thing was no big deal.

"God damn it, House. Of course, when I am being mature you think it is the proper time to mess with me. I was half way out the door you know..." Cuddy starts to get angry now that she knows House was playing his usual mind games.

"Yet, here you are." House sagely notes.

"Here I am." Cuddy agrees letting her anger fall to the wayside. She knows that she would have to be an idiot to start fighting with him now that she had just gotten what she wanted.

House takes Cuddy by the hand and leads her over to his couch. He sits down and she follows suit.

"Isn't this the part where we start making out?" House cheekily asks knocking his knee against hers.

"Not yet. Now that I know you forgive me there is something else." Cuddy declares. Her tone is far too serious for House's liking.

"I never said I forgave you, I said I should have seen it coming." House corrects.

"If you are willing to make out with me it sounds like forgiveness to me." Cuddy says with a slight smile.

"Just so you are aware, even when I hate you, I would still bang you. It's kind of a gender thing."

"House, come on be serious." Cuddy reprimands.

"I was being serious. Fine, you said not yet." House parrots. "Why not, exactly?"

"You were right about something else too. I am afraid of you… you know… breaking… my…" Cuddy trails off softly. She is suddenly terrified at the thought of finishing her own sentence.

"Heart," House offers.

"Yeah, that's the organ," Cuddy weakly tries to joke.

"I can't believe you just willingly admitted that to me. You usually have a better game face." House returns a little shocked at her unexpected openness.

"Yeah, I realized tonight my game face as you put it is what left me 40 and single. So this time I am trying honesty. I know trying it with you is leaving me wide open to all kinds of humiliation, but I am hoping…."

"You know what they say about honesty…Don't believe the hype." House cuts Cuddy off to give his little pearl of wisdom.

"I promise I won't ask you again... Five serious minutes tops…. Then feel free to unleash as many comments about my ass and breasts as you want, but I just need to know…" Cuddy trails off once again. She is hoping House knows where she is trying to go with this.

"Listen Cuddy, you know that I cannot make any promises. If that is what you are looking for coming here was probably a mistake. I cannot assure you somewhere down the line we will not implode. I certainly cannot tell you I will not screw up again. I will screw up a lot, it is kind of a given. From your little display today, I cannot say I think you will do much better. In addition, what I said the other night still holds. I will never be Mr. Feelings. I will never send you flowers, or write you love poems, or any other sentimental crap. The most I can tell you right now is I sincerely believe we are far too screwed up to ever make it work with normal functioning people. So in a way, we are each others best bets."

"So you are telling me I should take a bet on dysfunction? House, I am not asking for promises. After the last few days, I am definitely not naive enough to think this thing will not be bumpy. I already told you I do not need flowers and for the love of all that is pure please never attempt to write me a poem. I just want to make sure that the risks I am taking make sense. That I am not dangling on this precipice all alone… "

"What more do you want from me, Cuddy?"

"I don't know."

"I think you might have forgotten who you are dealing with here. You don't know but you expect me to know?"

"No…Yes… Maybe?" Cuddy feebly attempts to answer.

"Do you remember that thing you said to me in your office that night? About me being the only person… You know… That thing…?" House asks quietly.

Cuddy can instantly tell he is being serious for once. She knows exactly what House is referring to and is fascinated to see where he is going with his train of thought.

"That you are the only person I can manage to feel something for? If that is the thing in question, then yes I vividly remember." Cuddy confirms.

"Well, I understood your point." House mumbles into his own hand darting his eyes away from hers.

"Oh." Cuddy says in amazement.

Cuddy knows that what House just said is a close to a declaration of mutual feelings as she is ever going to get from the man. In his own House way, he is telling her he has real feelings for her too. That he has had them for quite sometime just as she has. Cuddy is so shocked that he even said that much she cannot really make further comment.

"If that wasn't enough, I would start looking for someone else on ." House warns.

"It's enough." Cuddy says beaming. "It is more than enough."

"Shouldn't you be the one reassuring me since it was you who last tried to break things off?" House asks placing his hand on her knee as he speaks.

"I thought that is what I have been doing this whole visit." Cuddy whispers as she feels his hand inch up her bare thigh.

"If you have it has been a pretty weak attempt. Personally, I always thought nothing puts a mind at ease like a reassuring blowjob." House says eagerly awaiting her reaction as he absently strokes up and down her leg, always stopping when he reaches the hem of her skirt.

Cuddy laughs off his comment not quite willing to give in to what he has started just yet. She lets her self enjoy his light petting but after a few beats of silence, she speaks again needing a tiny bit more assurance, "So you really think we can keep this a secret?"

"The only person either one of us would tell already knows. If Wilson tells anyone my castration of him with a butter knife will only be the beginning of his problems." House says distractedly his attention more on stroking her shapely legs.

"I have always said the punishment should fit the crime." Cuddy says satisfied enough with his answer. "House…"

"Yes, Cuddy?" House asks as hand makes his way inside her skirt.

"Thank you." Cuddy sincerely states. "You know that I am… That I feel…"

"I know. Listen, I can only take so much honesty in one night," House answers removing his hand from its position on her leg. "You wouldn't want this all to be for nothing because I make a break for it, and you are left alone looking at a House shaped hole in that wall."

"I think I am ready for the making out part now." Cuddy says instantly missing his hand and inching closer to him on the sofa.

"Thank god, all this talking and no action was really making me start to rethink my position. I could really use a couple handfuls of your airbags." House says as he grabs at the air as if they were her breasts.

"House, you are a pig." Cuddy admonishes but her tone is light.

"What? You said if I was serious for five minutes I could make all the breast and ass comments I wanted. That was mild. I am just getting started."

"Shut up." Cuddy quickly returns.

Cuddy grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him in for a deep kiss. Their tongues tangle easily falling into a comfortable but passionate cadence. Cuddy's heart feels suddenly lighter at the feel of House's lips. Their physical connection is undeniable. She is practically giddy with the feeling that for once in her life she has managed to figure out what she needs while it is still within her grasp.

As House feels Cuddy start to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, he is surprised at the sudden uncharacteristically optimistic thought that runs though his brain. _This thing between them might just have more than a snowballs chance in hell of working… _House does not contemplate it further caught up in the feeling of Cuddy's lips leaving his own and making an enticing trail down his neck.

"So when you said wild and uninhibited were you talking about location?" Cuddy mumbles into his skin between her tiny licks and nibbles. Cuddy shoves his shirt off his body throwing it on the floor. She follows that move by pushing him back against the arm of the couch so they are lying down on top of each other with both of her legs nestled between his. She starts languidly kissing down his chest.

The witty retort that is about to fall from House's lips at her question turns into a moan as he feels Cuddy's mouth around his nipple gently biting at the flesh.

Cuddy makes a throaty little sexy noise something akin to a laugh at his primal reaction. She looks up at him and continues her train of thought, "This place has so many options. The shower, your piano, I have no problem doing it on your dining table..."

As she speaks, she lifts her body up a little bit making quick work of unbuttoning and unzipping his fly.

"You have a filthy mind." House grins, "I love it."

"Enjoy it." Cuddy breathes.

House is more than enjoying her taking the lead in their little escapade. He watches with keen interest as she sits up so she is kneeling between his legs. Cuddy grabs at the hem of her shirt slowly inch by inch raising it up to expose her stomach. While she does her little move, she is giving House a seductive smile.

"Are you stripping for me?" House asks simultaneously aroused and amused. He begins running his hands over the flesh of her stomach that is slowly being revealed to him.

"Maybe," Cuddy coyly answers licking her lips. "You like it?"

"I have no objections." House returns as her shirt goes up higher exposing the lower half of her lace-clad breasts.

"Good." Cuddy sexily responds.

Cuddy finally allows her shirt to go completely over her head. Letting House take in the soft lavender lace covering her chest before she teasingly places the garment over his face. House quickly grabs at her shirt not wanting to miss a minute of the show she is giving him. When the obstruction to his view is gone, he is a little disappointed to see that Cuddy is no longer on the couch with him. He looks up to see her standing above him.

"I liked it better when you were closer," House growls reaching out to pull her back to him.

Cuddy grabs him by the wrist stopping his attempt. "Come on, up."

"Where are you taking me?" House questions as he stands.

"You know what they say… Location, location, location." Cuddy purrs while pulling his pants down for him so he is clad only in his boxer shorts.

House steps out of his pants and follows behind Cuddy who is holding him firmly by the wrist. Intrigued does not even begin to describe what he is currently feeling. His smile widens when she leads him to his piano. Cuddy turns to face him with a smile matching his own.

"Sit." She commands pointing down at the bench in front of them.

"So bossy," House jokes still standing. He grabs her by the waist so they are flush against each other. His mouth goes to her neck nibbling on the flesh there.

"Believe me, I know taking orders isn't your thing but trust me when I say this will be worth it." Cuddy says slowly drawing back from him.

House does not verbally commit to trusting her but he does sit on the bench without further fanfare.

"Smart man, now where was I?" Cuddy coos stepping so she is directly in front of him.

Cuddy begins leisurely swaying her hips in a rhythm that quickly leaves House hypnotized and hard as a rock. She goes for the zipper of her skirt pulling it down maddeningly slow. Cuddy loves the feeling of having House's attention one hundred percent on her. She makes quite a show of removing the form fitting material from her skin dragging it slowly down her legs. Once the material hits the floor, she bends over to remove it from her feet giving House the view of a lifetime of her ass barely covered with a tiny wisp of lavender colored silk.

"You're pretty good at this. This isn't how you paid for med school is it?" House jokes but his voice comes out hoarse tinged with a lusty need to it.

Cuddy does not respond to his comment. Instead, she begins unhooking the clasps of her bra slowly inching the straps down before revealing her plentiful breasts to House. She takes the lavender material and throws it on top of the piano. House audibly groans at the sight of a topless Cuddy swaying in front of him.

Cuddy quickly drops to her knees placing her hands on House's legs for support. She drags his boxers down just far enough to free his erection. House looks down at Cuddy in awe of the woman kneeling before him.

"How does that saying go, ask and ye shall receive?" Cuddy says with a glint in her eyes, looking up into House's blue orbs.

"Fuck, Cuddy." House growls as she lowers her head and he feels the warmth of her lips around his length.

House's mind is incapable of saying anything else. He moans in delight as he watches Cuddy dark curly hair bob up and down on his lap. Cuddy expertly uses her mouth and hands on him. Alternating light licks and strokes with a more concentrated suction. She easily brings him to the point of no return. House being well versed on blowjob etiquette tugs lightly at her hair signaling his imminent release.

"Cuddy, I am…" is all House can manage to say.

She simply hums against his length taking him fully into her mouth as she plays him like a musical instrument. The vibrations are the last straw for House and his orgasm washes over him. After the moment has passed, Cuddy gets up from her position on the floor.

"Reassured enough?" Cuddy sexily asks licking her lips and staring at very satiated House.

"Hell yes." House happily answers looking at her with complete adoration.

He stands up and pulls Cuddy's body close to his wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I thought you might say that." Cuddy replies hooking her arms around his neck.

"I know you have never had the pleasure but my bedroom is just down the hall." House huskily says into her ear licking it as he speaks.

House fully plans to have her completely as soon as he is capable. Her performance while wholly satisfying just makes him want her more.

"Lead the way." Cuddy throatily responds.

"I have to say if this is what happens when you freak out I might have to come up with something else to get you going…" House states inching them towards his room still wrapped up in each other.

"Don't push your luck." Cuddy playfully warns.

"Cuddy, pushing my luck is kind of a pastime of mine."

"Oh don't I know it. Now come on." Cuddy says wiggling free from his embrace and taking him by the hand. "I know the expression is it's better to give than to receive. But if receiving from you is as good as I remember it, I think they might be mistaken."

"Oh I see what this was all about now, you were looking for reciprocation." House says making his way in tandem with her to his room.

"Maybe," Cuddy laughs, "You should be flattered."

"Flattered that you are being selfish?" House asks with a put upon tone but his grin gives him away. "Since we are using clichéd expressions, I guess a man's got do, what a man's got to do…"

"I am looking forward to what you got to do." Cuddy laughs as they step inside his room.

House pulls Cuddy towards him their lips seeking each others immediately. As they make there way inside Cuddy uses her foot to kick the bedroom door closed behind them. For the next few hours, they leave all their troubles at House's bedroom door just focusing on each other.

_And they lived dysfunctionally ever after…_

** The End**

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_Song Credit: Oh Sweetheart, the Shout Out Louds_

I would love to hear your thoughts one last time. Thank you for reading. _  
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